$%^^&$#@!!!

At the moment I'm feeling a lot of angst, I am a lot more absent-minded, a lot more uptight, I get cheesed off easily, I feel like I don't care for a lotta things.

I'm thankful for the little things that is present right now like the packet of frozen fries in the freezer, the carton of milk Leita got when she came by, the $40 that the Vereenigde Landsche Ge-Oktroyeerde Oostindische Compagnie (Dutch East India Company) loaned me, that I still have a hamster cage to go back to after work, that the Internet which is my way of "hanging out" and "exploring the world" on the cheap is still on...

But this is one of those days like many days before when I feel really shitty. I feel helpless. Can you believe I can't even afford to buy shower foam and shampoo? I'm now using my mom's baby shampoo that she left behind when she last visited. Maybe I should just drink it all up in one gulp.

No matter what I do, I'm still here at this darn spot. God I wish I could just tell the truth. Should have made this blog private like I'd intended.

Why do some people have it easier without having to try so hard?

Why do dishonest people get away with everything?

Why are the wrong people being punished?

When will salvation come?

I'm exhausted. Let's eat.