So these days I've had to put on my belt one eyelet looser.

I'm getting fat but my little bird said she doesn't mind, coz that way other girls won't find me attractive and she gets to keep me all to herself. I almost heard an evil laughter after she told me that, haha.

Sounds good(!) except that I'm gonna have to get new cargo pants coz my butt won't fit into jeans anymore.