12 months = $10k

I need to run away for a while. Not something I intend to do permanently but I need to put myself in a forced situation where I could just focus on one aim for a fixed duration, say one year at most.

I could do one year.

Besides, National Service was longer by one and a half years and I scrapped through that. It wasn't comfortable but I barely made it. The secret was that it was something I couldn't escape from no matter how adverse and I had no choice but to see through the duration.

I've always wanted to run away, it's a somewhat open secret. To do my own thing, to be by myself, not worrying about stepping on other people's tails unwittingly or not, no one to please, no need to worry about waking up slightly earlier or later to use the toilet, have things done my way, having my own space, no one to explain to, no one to criticize me.

I'm actually quite depressed at the moment and I want to be left alone.

My existence at this moment is a very unhappy one. It's very superficial. I'm living a fake life. I don't like being in this place. I don't like the people here. I'm not doing things that I'd rather be doing. Some of them out of consideration for others.

I don't like it when I wanna do something and other people are being so negative about it. Sometimes they don't say it but I can feel it. It's like I'm living my life to please them, according to what they want my life to be, acording to what they feel I should be.

I've always had this feeling inside of me that some day I'm just going to heck all, pack up and just go. Something inside of me is saying that this feeling is getting stronger. That day is drawing nearer.

I'm giving myself one year, till the end of July 07 to have at least $10000 in the bank and I need to focus. One year is not long and ten thousand dollars is not exactly a small sum.

If I feel that I need to isolate myself to achieve this, I might just do that. That depends on how things turn out in the next ten days.