Torture Shop

I've never tried having foot reflexology done on me. Never believed in new age outside help like yoga or bhangra or whatever form of therapy. Never liked the idea.

But of course with the mental stress of late, plus that I injured my right foot while sleeping (uh-huh, never thought that was possible either) last night and that my shoulders hurt for no reason, I thought "Oh heck!".

I was at Rudi's barber shop discussing our blueprint on world domination when we were interrupted. So with a slightly irritated mood, I walked over to the massage shop two lots away from his and announced that I wanted the foot reflexology.

I was shocked coz when I pushed the door open and stepped in, the clerk was a BABE! I talked first and looked later and mentally went "Woohoo!" but dang, then she called out to a bald-headed guy at the back to attend to me instead. *grumble grumble*

The guy was good, to be honest. He knew what he was doing and explained to me what the various parts of my foot he kneaded on led to as to which part of the anatomy he was working on and adviced me on how to look after myself better.

But I could have sworn he was wearing a black hood with a pointed end on his head!

It was torture! PAIN in its purest form! I've never experienced so much physical suffering! All 40 minutes of it!

I don't know now if the whole thing really worked for me but I feel rather de-stressed. My shoulders don't hurt anymore. My legs feel wobbly but they always do anyway as a result of my wanking too much so... .

I might give it another shot, maybe a full body massage even, IF, and that's a BIG "IF" I feel a little richer.

But nah, it's not really that expensive. $35. The foot reflexology was $20. Quite attainable. Maybe I should go once a month or every fortnight or whatever. Not too often. Yeah.

Well, his parting words before I left was that he thought I had a lotta air in my stomach, probably because I have large intestines. Uh-hmm, just by massaging my feet he knows. So that explains why I fart a lot.

Now I can tell this to everyone whenever I let loose a broken arrow. Heh. I have bigintestinescannotsuppressfartilitis. It's Latin but it basically means that I'm allowed!