Plan Zzzzzz

Wa hey whaddya know, I've just applied to be a CNB Narcotics Officer. I've always told myself that if I had to sign on with any uniformed force, it has GOT TO be an elite one. Being an ordinary infantryman or policeman isn't good enough for me.

I don't know, in light of the current uncertainties at work, I thought I had better had a Plan C. I don't really wanna be caught in no man's land when Plans A and B hit The Great Wall of China.

Anyway, it's just an application. Doesn't mean I'd get it but I think I qualify for most of the criteria. Let's see...

MAIN DUTIES of Narcotics Officer

* Carry out field operations to arrest drug offenders (CAN DO)
* Monitor and gather intelligence and evidence against drug offenders (NO WORRIES)
* Conduct undercover operations against drug traffickers (EXCITING!)
* Put up investigation papers (IPs) with the view to prosecuting drug offenders in court (TEDIOUS BUT HO-KAY)
* Conduct preventive drug education talks to youths and organizations (YEAH!)
* Be proficient in computer to create electronic IPs to update the CNB case management system (BRING IT!)

PERSONAL TRAITS

* Calmness in operations (I MAY GO THROUGH McBEAL MOMENTS BUT ON THE OUTSIDE IT DOESN'T SHOW)
* Possess integrity and honesty (MY BEST QUALITIES)
* Good stress coping abilities (BWAHAHAHA! BRING IN THE CHOCOLATES!)
* Resourceful and quick-minded to tackle difficult situations (UH-HMM YEAP)
* Ablility to work well in teams (SUSPECT, BUT YA KNOW... I'M A LEO)
* Good in paperwork necessary for prosecution of offenders (EASY PEASY)

ENTRY REQUIREMENTS

* Singapore Citizen or Permanent Resident (YUP)
* Male applicants must have completed National Service with medical fitness of PES 'A' or 'B' (IS THERE AN A STAR?)
* Be physically fit (WEEEELL... I COULD CUT BACK ON THE KFCs)
* Have good eyesight without color blindness (BAD EYESIGHT BUT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM BEING A GUARDSMAN)
* At least 5 GCE 'O' level credits (HAVE, HAVE)

TRAINING

* Upon recruitment, you will undergo a 28-week training course at Police Academy (CHICKEN FEED)
* The training course includes basic investigation skills, self-defence and weapons handling (YAAAAWN)
* Upon completion of training, you will serve a 2-year bond (THANK GOD IT'S NOT LONGER)

With a B4 & above in Maths & English or English Literature, I qualify to be at least a Corporal. Having been a sergeant in Guards, this is a battering to the ego but uh, it's only one rank below. Not that much of a demotion. Definitely wouldn't mind the $1748.42 salary (Dang, who gets paid in 42cents denominations? Sheesh!).

So anyway, we'll see how this pans out. No expectations. Will be looking for other opportunities at the same time. Have got some spare money in the bank so I wouldn't mind what sort of opportunity it is as long as it's decisive, concrete and morally-correct.

In other news, I think one married woman at work just hit on me.

Can I sue for sexual harassment for this?

MAN, SUES FOR WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN LANDMARK CASE

Singapore - In what may be the first case of its kind in this tiny island state, a manager at the foodcourt is suing for sexual harassment for an incident that happened at work involving a married female tenant.

Luis Piano (name has been changed to protect the victim), 27 said he didn't do anything. "I'm innocent. I was just doing my job. Now I feel so... so... used like toilet paper."

Heh heh heh. I'm just kidding. It really happened but I won't sue. I know I'm too sexy for my butt, too sexy for my butt, too sexy it huuuurts... .

Good night. Three more full shifts to go. Need as much rest as possible.