SEX Party

Friends, Ah Lians, countrymen... lend me your eyes.

I'm thinking of forming a party and standing in the next General Elections.

SOCIAL ETIQUETTE EXCELLENCE PARTY

Huh? What do ya guys think? Got a ring to it, eh? Eh? Heh heh.

This shall be my eight point manifesto:

1) Rushing into trains when passengers are about to alight shall be banned. Offenders shall be kicked into the last carriage where giraffes, chimpanzees and cows can be found, along with other animals.

2) Walking and stopping abruptly in the middle of the tracks to stare at the cobwebs at the ceiling shall be banned. All footpaths and alleyways shall have trapdoors. Sensors will detect these offenders. The trapdoors will then automatically open and transport these offenders straight into the sea where the rest of the "sotongs" are.

3) Cyclists who ring their bells madly when approaching people who walk on footpaths shall be banned from cycling. They shall instead be given pogo sticks courtesy of the government and be made to wear cow bells on their necks.

4) Sumo wrestlers shall deliberately be imported into the country to sit on people who put stuff on bus and train seats therefore effectively disallowing other people to sit on them.

5) Squatting on toilet seats while taking a dump shall be banned. Offenders shall be zapped back into the Stone Age.

6) The use of SMS lingo such as dis shall be banned frm all forms of skoolwerk, emails, letters and on da Internet. Offenders shall b sent 2 England 2 live with da Queen.

7) No one is allowed to tout in public. Offenders shall be formed in groups of 15 and be made to play rugby against the All Blacks for unnecessarily making people dodge them like rugby players themselves.

8) People who refuse to turn off their phones when in the theatre or places of worship shall have their phones confiscated from them and be given discount coupons courtesy of the government to purchase brains from any supermarket. Confiscated phones shall be donated to folks in Sudan, where they really need them.


So who's with me!? WHO is for SEX!? Do YOU want SEX!?

We want SEX! We want SEX! We want SEX!

C'mon you know you wanna say it!

We want SEX! We want SEX! We want SEX!

I know you want it bad!

We want SEX! We want SEX! We want SEX!