Ugly people

I don't know where to begin.

Something happened at work yesterday which I believe has affirmed the fact that it's not worth it for me to stay at LC.

It's much ado about nothing, really. A storm in a teacup. I couldn't believe it actually happened.

There's this little issue about me coming to work in my black jeans especially when I'm supposed to be out-stationed at events for the company.

I don't see why that is an issue. I know I am well-dressed. I look way better in jeans than most people do in pants.

In fact, I was out-stationed at the mother of all events a few days ago at the Istana and none of the three-star generals or heck, not even the President bothered if I was wearing jeans or pants or underwear outside or pantyhose on my head. Someone even praised (at least I'd like to think so) me by saying I looked so good I could be a gigolo.

Yesterday morning Ishak, my dummkopf manager, called to remind me to wear proper pants to work as I'd again be out-stationed to an event. Not wanting to argue, I said ok. I did wear pants (as opposed to wearing jeans) to work.

This guy is one of a few beings in the universe who cannot see another guy come close to his position at work and he'd go all out to make sure all threats are thwarted.

Being younger, more intelligent and obviously more good-looking than he is, I am hence considered such a threat. At this juncture, I've had about enough tolerating this m^&$ot$$her@#@$f's offensive like a sitting duck.

I have served at least at a supervisory level at my past jobs in FNB since I completed my service in the army and in all those times, I'd get a certain amount of authority the moment I walk into my first day on the job.

Over here, I'm always thrown into doing odd jobs. Washing 200 over apples, wiping this and that, rearranging the stores, transferring 30 over loaded carton boxes from the first floor to the second... . What the heck?

Excuse me, we do have odd job workers for that. I am supposed to share his load in executing the operations. But someone wants to be the only lion on the mountain... . The best thing is the bosses aren't doing anything about it.

I know that respect has to be earned but if I'm always being thrown at doing odd jobs, eventually people will think that I am one of the odd job workers. I learn nothing about operations. In fact, anyone can tell me to do anything and they're supposed to be my subordinates! There's no proper chain of command.

Back to the jeans issue, from afar Ishak shouted to ask if I brought along my pants. I shouted back, "Then what is this I'm wearing!?"

Ishak: Those are pants?!

CM: Yes! (Pissed off as I know he's trying to find fault with me)

Ishak: Looks like jeans to me!

CM: It's NOT! (as I muttered some profanities under my breath, shook my head in disbelief and ignored him)

The next thing I know, he called me to say that Iris, one of the bosses wanted to see me upstairs.

Iris: CM, I believe it's time for you to get a proper pair of pants.

CM: I AM wearing a proper pair of pants.

Iris: You are?

CM: (Yes stupid fcuk) Why don't you come over to see? Is this jeans or is this pants?

She came over to feel the material on my pants. I knew that she knew she'd made a mistake from the look in her eyes but she refused to admit it and kept lecturing me on why I should get myself a proper pair of pants.

I said, "Why is this not proper? Am I not wearing pants?" and walked out.

Once downstairs, Mr Dummkopf wanting to vent his frustration on me, told me to load one of the lorries. By myself. When there were a million other people around.

He knew I was fasting (while he wasn't) but I told myself if he wanted to score points with the bosses by taking it out an me, he could go right ahead. I'll keep scoring points with God. Let's see who wins. Fancy one Muslim treating another Muslim this way on such a holy month like this.

He's like a small kid. Every little thing he'd go upstairs and complain to mommy and daddy. Whiny, whiny, whiny. "Mommy, mommy, CM won't listen to me, boohoo." And mommy and daddy are stupid enough to believe him wholesale every single time. Spoilt brat!

My overview of the matter is that:

1) Mr Dummkopf will always be a brat
2) The bosses will forever be quick to jump to conclusions without investigating the root of the matter as well as never admit their mistakes no matter how obvious
3) I'll never thrive in this company

My plan was to actually keep this job until the last days of Ramadhan (around the 24th of October), take a few days off to celebrate Eid (popularly known as Hari Raya in this parts) which comes after Ramadhan, and be in time for Mouse's opening at [removed] on November first but looking at things, I'd have to speed things up a little.

I'm gonna ask Max if he'd take me in sooner at either of his current shops. We'll take it as training in preparation for me to run one of the outlets on my own soon. If he says ok, I'll leave this hellhole at a drop of a hat.

Flotsam

Been having something like an out of body experience of late.

It's like I'm outside looking in and everything around me is just whizzing past while I'm moving in s-l-o-w motion.

Whoosh, zoom, whizz!!!

I'm...like...duuuuh... .

Could it be because of the fasting?

Could it be because I'm dragging my feet at work?

Or the fact that my bank balance is depleting fast?

Maybe because 70% of me is not sure about getting involved in the [removed] venture?

That WantToTrade.sg is going LIVE soon and I'm not sure if I've done enough of my share of things when all my partners seem to be doing so much more?

Perhaps the Ann question too?

I'm not sure, really. I need help. Thing is, with what?

Mouse revived

So it's obvious that I'm looking for other income-generating opportunities. I really don't see why anyone should subject themselves to being miserable. And like I told my siblings, it's for everyone's own good, so no one gets killed. Hur hur.

I don't like the idea of me being oppressed, suppressed, compressed and all. Talking about that, I think I have a new mission in life. I want to help little people, people littler than I am, who are trapped in unconducive working environments.

People like the foreign workers who contribute to our national growth but are treated like roadside dirt, people who got affected by the changing global climate of down-scaled salaries while expenses keep rising like hell, people who the government use as cash-cows in their working life who are then conveniently forgotten when it's time for them to retire and enjoy the twilight of their lives, etc.

Someday I'm gonna write a piece on this on thesecretgem.com when I have a few hours to myself and then I'll see how I can go from there in my new mission in life. It's always been about helping little people where I'm concerned. I just need to be specific and I believe this is it.

Back to me, obviously, this blog is about me right? Why I didn't say that I'm looking for another job is because I'm not particularly looking for another. Who knows, besides wanttotrade.sg, I might venture into another business instead of working per se.

wanttotrade.sg will take time to mature but it'd be nice if I could do something else hand in hand with it. It'd be fully operational next week and there's still stuff I haven't done in time for that. But I will.

I've been talking to a few people and one who is being lined up is [removed]. [removed]. The IT accessories guy.

He's been keeping me in the loop about certain ideas he has and he did it again last week about opening a little old shop at the proposed [removed] department at [removed] which is being set on Harvey Norman's former location.

Word has it that they're developing [removed] as an IT hub within the mall with little booths inside and Max is interested in one that is about 190 square feet. Thing is, there is a dumb pillar within the site which takes 50 square feet off and the result is a shop the size of a foodstall in a foodcourt or about 1/3 the size of my really tiny living room.

I might be having a look-see at it this evening to determine if it is indeed a good move to get involved in a shop that size. I mean, with a shop that tiny, what can I pack in there? The stuff I sell has to be fast-moving and very specific. PLUS, my competition's all around me. I'd be a mouse among other mice.

But one thing we trashed out last night when I met him is how we're gonna work on it between us where money is involved. Crucially, what my cut would be.

I'd say I've negotiated quite a package for myself. I know I'm desperate but I tried hard not to let it show coz I know he too is desperate to get out of the retail side of his business and concentrate more on procurement and distribution.

So it's a battle of who is more desperate (sic).

The deal is this. I need to earn $40,000 and above per month for the shop in order to enjoy the share of profits. But no fret. Anything below that amount, I'd still get $x,xxx so my ass is covered.

Of course I don't just want my ass to be covered coz that'd mean the shop would be operating at a loss or just breaking even. In the long term, I get an option to take over the shop in a year's time and an opprtunity to take over his entire retail operations in future as a franchise. That is the whole idea in general. That would be my aim should I decide to be involved.

But first thing first. I have to look at the [removed] shop and the environment surrounding it tonight after my iftar. No point jumping for the sake of jumping. It has to be worth it. Just like what I think wanttotrade.sg is.

I've decided that from today, EVERYTHING I do shall be worth it.

Brake

So judging from the photos of my brother's birthday party on Sunday, everything seemed fine and dandy on my side.

The fact is further from the truth.

It was not only my brother's birthday party then, it was also the first day of our fasting month of Ramadhan and I was looking forward to celebrating both my Iftar (break of fast indicated by the evening prayer) and the party with my family.

So I've decided very early on that I had two choices: Either I leave work early to be with my family or, I leave work early to be with my family.

With choices like that, the decision was simple. I left work early to be with my family.

I've had enough of being worked to death. At 1530hrs on Sunday, I was already hanging on to my last breath, my body parts were aching and I was having trouble keeping my eyelids open. I declared myself done for the day, punched my card and left for home.

Whew! What a relief! I really didn't care anymore. So, so drained out I don't know if there's any word in the English dictionary to describe how I felt.

I managed to slide in two hours of nap at home before I got changed and took a cab to my brother's at Pasir Ris to link up with the rest.

The two hours of power nap helped a lot. I was still tired but at least I could feel myself connecting with people. I didn't just want to be there in body, I wanted to be there in spirit too. It's my brother's birthday!

For the record, Ann didn't make it. Said she wanted to spend the first Iftar of the Ramadhan with her dad and I had to respect that.

Yesterday was the first Perth Day I had after so long. It felt long although it's just over two weeks. Normally I could take this form of suffering but when one has been stretched to the limit every single minute of every single day for many days running, one would also surrender in the end, like I have.

Not embarrased to say it.

I had my Perth Day plan of which my priorities were:
1) Wash the toilet
2) Get myself slippers for use at home
3) Sign up for my driver's licence

But I didn't achieve those objectives. After going back to sleep after sahur (mealtime before start of fast) at 0630hrs or so, I woke up at around 1215hrs.

Got changed, went for a spot of shopping at Toa Payoh Central nearby, got myself three t-shirts for $9.70, some Tim Tam cookies and Enervon C vitamins, went to Yishun, made a split second decision to watch Miami Vice at the Yishun 10 cineplex and straight to my mom's after.

Haven't seen her for so long. Everyone needs to be replenished with soul food once in a while. I'm no different. Ann still couldn't make it coz she had a night class going on.

I love the t-shirts I got, thought Miami Vice was a rip off and had two helpings of my mom's chicken soup and rice. Chicken soup for the soul.

I felt my soul coming back to me after the first sip at Iftar. I didn't even think about having my drag of cigarette first like I usually do. And then I had a few more sips, finished two bowls in the end and completely felt like a new man after.

My English is very good, not shy to say this, but I thought Miami Vice as all English movies in cinemas in Singapore or even the world, need to be accompanied by English subtitles. That's what I'd do when I watch DVDs at home, I turn the English subtitles on.

Because why? Because there were some accents in the movie that I didn't catch. I know Colin Farrell tried hard, but he didn't really manage to mask his Irish accent well. There were so many other weird accents in the movie especially Gong Li's.

In the end, I just gave up and tried to understand the plot instead, which in my opinion didn't help much, because the whole movie was a letdown.

Whatever.

At least I got to spend some time with my sis Leita and Mr Ball Ball watching Hady Mirza win the second instalment of Singapore Idol on TV. For me, it didn't matter who wins it in this instalment coz I felt the other guy, Jonathan Leong, although not as talented as Hady, was a sincere guy and that is a strong point in my book.

Dick Birthday 06

So Dickhead, my not-so-little little brother poured out his soul to us in an email yesterday telling us how down he was in spite of everything.

It was the weekend before his birthday.

None of us responded. Little did he know that we had something planned out for him.

Man, the look in his eyes... like a deer in headlights!

While everyone was waiting for the lead star, I took the opportunity to grab a shut eye.

Liana on the other hand, was preparing to whip some turkey (ayam belanda, heh heh). The turkey didn't look too happy, oooooh...

SURPRISE! "Who? Wha-? When?! Where? Whyyyeee? Hoooow???

The spread. Disposables courtesy of The Calamity Man's company, heh heh.

The cake.

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll sprinkle the cake with my saliva!

Want some?

So kawaii!

Group shot.

Didn't realize there was a vampire among us.

Still didn't.

What is life without some close friends...?

Me and the main man.

Just chillin'.

Caught in the middle of devouring food, Dick and I. Nothing new.

Slacking around.

Lilies' helper, Eva and Heidi sharing a light moment.

Tea ceremony? On a birthday?

*rolleyes*

Aw man! An All-blacks shirt!

Signing off with a cool photo of the youngest three.

Breakdown

I'm extremely exhausted. Have not had a day off for two weeks. It's been a very challenging period.

First off, we were involved in preparing and delivering food, drinks and dessert to the police personnel at various locations in Singapore till the 20th in conjunction with the IMF meeting here.

The number of personnel rises and falls but on average, we feed about 700 of them daily, five freaking times a day. God bless them for keeping us safe, and us for keeping their morale up.

We're talking about packing food for them in takeaway boxes like in a production line and in some places, we have to lift boxes and boxes of food up staircases to be able to reach them. Back-breaking, knee-busting, mind-screwing stuff.

After the 20th, we thought we'd be able to catch our breaths but due to the nature of the management, we had none of that. In fact, more such big orders are to follow. The company I work for is a specialist in serving government bodies. There's no way the top people would say no to them.

I'm breaking down and breaking apart.

Yesterday, I felt my body shutting down. Felt nauseous, had a bad migraine and wanted to vomit.

The moment I reached home, I just took my shower, performed my prayers, took my vitamins and my nightly glass of milk and hit the sack without dinner. Had no energy left in me to go buy or make myself anything to eat.

Don't know how long more I can last. I wonder how the people who's been in the company longer manage to survive so long. I truly respect them. This whole thing reminds me of the times I was serving in the army. I didn't really enjoy it.

Mission Possible

Mission two: To get a driver's licence

D-Day: 31st July 07

So there. Yet another declaration of intent from me. Why? Because it opens doors.

So now I've got in total two missions to run concurrently till 31st July 07.

1) To raise $10,000
2) To get a driver's licence

If it's in God's will, I shall achieve these. Other than that, only one person in this universe can stop me.

Me.

Anyway, I am looking for someone along the lines of a personal trainer to guide me in attaining Mission two.

Please keep me in the loop. thecalamityman @ gmail . com

Some days

Some days I don't know if I'm dealing with Ann, Anna, Annie or Anne.

Some days I just don't wanna give a damn.

Some days I think I should, not give a damn that is.

Some days I ponder about why I should.

Some days there are no answers.

You know you want to

Three of my friends and I have been busy working on coming up with this web portal for the last couple of months.

WantToTrade.sg is a portal that brings together people who have one thing in common - to exchange items with one another for no money. It's the new eBay and we believe the idea will catch on.

It's a concept based on online communities where members not only log in for the purpose of trading 2nd hands items, but to also just hang around and chit chat in the message boards, share their product reviews, take part in the many promotions by our other partners and so on.

It was an idea started when Paddy was trying to sell off the LCD TV that his wife had won at a lucky draw sometime back. He posted the TV on Yahoo Auction expecting people to actually bid for it but some suckers bargained with him instead.

Typical, typical but they knew the TV was acquired at no cost and assumed that Paddy and Izel would settle for anything since even $0.01 is a profit as they paid nothing for it. It was a frustrating experience for them.

Paddy thought what if he could exchange his TV for something else that he needed instead? Is there an online source for that? He did some research, I was also asked for my opinion, one thing led to another, I thought it was a great concept and told him that I'd be interested to work with him if he wanted to take this thing to the next level.

So there. The short history of WTT.

We have a gameplan, the four of us.

Anyway, from the first day of WTT's launch to the next 30 days, we'd like to offer businesses to put up a 468 x 60 pixels size banner on WTT free of charge so you can judge for yourself how effective it is.

Just imagine the number of eyeballs seeing your company's banner and taking part in your promotions? So why not consider us as a positive leverage for the growth of your business?

We're currently on a roll, so don't wait any longer. thecalamityman @ gmail . com is the email you should reach.

WTT is out in stores soon. While stocks last. Batteries not included.

Bollywood clown

Apparently Ann has been, how shall I put this, pursued by this Nepali guy from work since last week.

No wonder.

It meant that every sms and phonecalls were met with scorn, including mine.

What the fudge?

I told her I knew something was not right, that's why I backed off a little but in future to not leave me out in the cold like that again coz although I could feel something was wrong, I didn't know the head or tail of what's going on.

The clown has been calling and sms-ing her day and night incessantly, asking for her whereabouts, throwing romantic words at her in Hindi, hinting marriage, eeyuk.

Ann is hot stuff and I know this sort of thing is always gonna happen but inside, I feel it's not fair to lump all guys together and make everyone pay just because of some clown.

In all honesty, it's not something I wanna live with. One of us has got to deal with it.

Curse of the pirate

I nearly bit someone's head off at work, my colleague's.

He's the sort who talks more than he works trying to give the impression that he's da man but I read him like a FHM magazine. Every single page.

He's also been trying to act smart with me in all my short time here like as though I'm some green horn in this industry and that's stepping on my tail. I am new in this company and I'm younger than most but I'm certainly no green horn. I tried to remain calm, grit my teeth and go on as usual hoping he'd finally step off my tail but unfortunately he didn't.

Silence doesn't mean cowardice. In being silent I was trying to swallow some pride, learning everything I can from everyone in the quickest possible time.

So yesterday my blood just shot up my brain when he ordered me to do something and "point-point-point" with his fingers at it and kept repeating himself like a runaway machine gun like he always does.

Nevermind about me being his superior, everyone's trying to earn an honest living, but that to me is lacking in manners. In my dictionary, you don't boss people around even if you're the boss. You ask politely, or you simply ask. No need to pretend you're da man at the expense of other people.

My sister Liana told me before that I'm most fluent in Malay when I'm cursing and at that point I have to say that my Malay was indeed like poetry... recited by a pirate that is.

The more he responded the more I talked down to him. Very hurtful words that I shan't repeat here. Gave him a sample of his own medicine so he knows how it tastes like. Fortunately for him, he backed down after we've been trading words for a few minutes.

A wise decision by him I would say for I was very prepared to bite his head off.

Everyone saw what happened but the aftermath was more positive than I expected. After that incident, I just kinda shrugged everything aside but seems to me I have actually earned a little bit of respect and authority from a few people afterwards for standing up to the idiot who also happens to be public enemy numero uno.

Whatever.

Boys' night out

Had an impromptu boys' night out with three of my colleagues last night.

It was after work, all of us were feeling blue, when suddenly Man suggested that we go hit the karaoke joint nearby.

Almost in unison we all said, "Let's go!"

I didn't sing much but at the end of everything the boys were impressed with my vocals. Sometimes I wonder how a clown like Joakim got to hit the limelight at the expense of thousands of naturally talented singers (haha) like yours truly and killing the dreams of many more in the process (hoho).

I was hanging out with guys who have no clue about pop music, electronica, jazz, blues, RnB and all so I had to keep reminding myself not to play songs in these categories. I didn't wanna embarrass myself. I mean, I'd get stick if I even think about putting on The Backstreet Boys, man!

I still got stick anyway. The boys knew what's going down with me so they put on song after song which usually go like this: Boy gives everything, girl doesn't appreciate, boy decides to back off so no one gets hurt.

Ha bloody ha.

The funny thing was, I don't know where she drew inspiration from, but Ms My-life-is-so-complicated-I-confuse-myself (MLISCICM) finally decided to call me again after freezing me out for a couple of days without any rhyme or reason, after we were done at the karaoke joint.

Don't ask me why, it's like walking on broken glass here on Planet Venus. She called to talk for a bit about her day and to inform me that she was on the way to meet three of her mates at Great World City for a girls' night out even though she wasn't feeling well.

I was like, whatever. What am I, some freaking vending machine?

Pause

I don't really like to go to my former company's many foodcourts but sometimes I just cannot avoid it since they have so many going around. Reason is, people recognize me and I actually couldn't be bothered to keep up with the formalities when all I want is just to eat and run.

Near where I live, there are two - Kungfu and FNS. There is also a Banquet, which has nithing to do with my former company but where non-Malay or Indian Halal food is concerned, I of course give FNS the priority. Not sure why, maybe I just feel like a traitor if I don't.

As usual, whenever I step into any FNS, I get a resounding welcome no matter how busy the workers are. I was at the Toa Payoh branch for lunch.

For 15 minutes I just stopped at every stall to say hello to the staff, exchanged a few words and waved around to everyone like a right Miss Universe. This is the only place where I feel appreciated by not the upper management (I don't really care if they each get swallowed by a whale) but by the people so it's the least I could do.

Every single person I spoke to asked me to come back and be their manager again. It happens all the time. I don't know if they'll ever stop.

The thing is I still haven't settled down at LC, my current company and I don't think I ever will.

Firstly, I detest the "us against them" culture where the mortals and management both do not trust each other. Each would blame the other if something goes wrong instead of working together as a team. When you're the supervisor, you get stuck in the middle like beef patty in a cheeseburger.

Secondly, it's a sweatshop in there and I despise being treated like a coolie with no opinion, no influence, no control, no authority and no responsibility. I always believe that I'm made for greater things. Humble pie is not my thing.

Thirdly, CCTV cameras are for anti-crime measures but the damn fools use them to spy on their workers instead. Can't take a short smoke break, can't go for a pee break, can't talk while having a ten minutes lunch, can't answer the phone, can't respond to SMSes. We have to sneak around like little rascals which I feel is a blow to my pride. We're all adults here, aren't we?

On hindsight, I think about the amount of money I can potentially take home each month and it brings me back down to Earth. It's something being a foodcourt manager cannot ever achieve in my knowledge.

What is important to me, I have to nail down soon. Is it the money or to be treated like a human being?

If FNS can fulfil my conditions, which is to automatically gain a higher position, a higher salary and to NEVER involve me in the issues of any of our other outlets, I might consider going back. After all, it'd still fit nicely into my plans till next August.

Right ear

I sent Liana a text just now saying, "I don't know what it is about me that makes people wanna pour their hearts out to me. I feel it's a burden after the initial feeling of being proud."

I didn't really wanna send a looong sms message but I think she got what I meant.

The thing is, I've only been around at this job for almost six weeks but a few of my colleagues have found me trustworthy enough to share the things that they don't share with other people. Really deep stuff.

It's not only at this job or this place or this organization, it's everywhere.

You know, all I want till next August is to clock in, do my job, clock out, live an honest life, earn an honest living, put some money aside for my plans next August, hopefully to meantime get a driver's license, maybe learn to swim, perhaps score some chicks (heh heh), probably get a certificate in something...

I didn't really wanna bother about anything else outside my ownself, but when I think about it for a while just now, I realize that I'm just being a selfish bas...ketball.

So out of concern, I called Man* after my prayers just now to find out how he was doing. He was practically going on and on about what he's going through right now while we were at work today.

He's almost twice my age so I had to be tactful. All I said was, "Man, I know you're way more experienced than I am in life but if you'd just listen out to me, whatever it is that is bothering you, please do not do anything stupid. Remember you've got a family and five kids and all. If you really need to explode, give me a call. You know my number. We can talk."

We talked for a little more. I listened mostly. I think that's the key. I listen more than I talk. I mean, two ears, one mouth... it's a no-brainer. Maybe that's why people look for me for these things. I just realized that I have this power so I might as well use it to make the world a better place in my little corner.

Anyway, Man said to not treat him as a friend but instead treat him like a brother. I may be younger than he is, but if my advice is worth looking into, there is no reason not to take it up. In turn I could approach him if I need advice myself. I don't know how he heard but he knew I got girl problems recently. I told him it's all settled now but if it happens again, I'd know who to look for.

Don't ask me how the next message is related to this topic but it is.

Advertisement:
If you're looking for a helper at home or someone who is used to working in the kitchen, someone who is committed, diligent, doesn't skive, knows how to cook and bake damn well, please reach thecalamityman at gmail dot com .

I'll supply the details you need. All we ask is for an employer who treats his or her employees with dignity and humanity.

If you don't fit the bill, please don't bother writing in.


*Name has been changed as I'm still trying to figure out how plants with red leaves absorb sunlight.