Evil jeans from Uranus

I don't know what it is about jeans and me, but they don't like me.

I like them but they don't like me.

I can't wear normal pants. When you are The Calamity Man, pants just don't work for you because you're a natural disaster waiting to happen any time of day.

Zippers suddenly break when I'm at work, I wouldn't notice the patch of water on the floor, slip and fall on my butt or knees, curry splattering all over, those sort of things so I need to put on something rugged that can withstand almost any calamity.

Hence, short of wearing American Football gear, I put on jeans.

Today I went shopping around for another pair of jeans, black. I was walking around at Peninsula Hotel Shopping Centre when I saw some on sale. So I went in, grabbed a pair of size 31 and entered the fitting room.

God I took ten minutes to button the damn thing. I haven't even gotten to zipping up yet. I mean, I fit the thing. It was my size (in deep denial here). I huffed and I puffed but I just couldn't get the damn button into the eyelet.

I managed after ten minutes of course. So after looking at myself in the mirror, checking out the fit and the length and all, I decided that it wasn't for me. It was a little long (not that I'm short hur hur) so I decided not to buy it.

I grunted. I sucked my tummy in, held my breath till my face turned green and my veins portruded, I was turning into another superhero, (GAAA!) and now I couldn't get the $^^&@$!!! button out. What the heck?! Was there a conspiracy? Ok I know I'm fat ok, just get me out of this monster!

I gave up. I surrendered.

I came out of the fitting room. I told the guy the button wouldn't come out and I couldn't get myself out of the jeans. He said, "Ok come out. I help you."

"Like. No way dude!"

I went back in. Trrried to summon all my inner yin yang to free myself of this evil jeans from Uranus, my body banging violently against the walls of the fitting room but after yet another ten minutes I gave up again. Totally pooped out. I was sweating all over.

I opened the door, took a few steps out, shoved my pelvis at the scissor-holding salesman and surrendered myself to him.

And then I saw everyone looking at me.

So I grabbed the guy into the fitting room, closed the door and let the guy do whatever it took to free me. FREEEEE MEEEEE!

He yanked and yanked at the thing for a couple of minutes and finally, FINALLY it came out. The button just dropped with a little "poop" sound on the floor.

I was free.

I was afraid I'd have to pay for causing, albeit unintentionally, damage to his ware but he was cool with it. I guess I'm not the first crazy guy to be trapped in a pair of jeans in his shop. I said a quick thank you and walked out.

I was a free man once again!

For the record, I did manage to get something el cheapo for $37 at another shop. I bargained it down from $45. It was a size 31 as well. See? It's bad cutting, the earlier pair of jeans. I'm not FAT.

Home again?

I've been to close to ten interviews in the past month and in all of them, all my interviewers would always not fail to say, "You look good" or "I like you because you're neat". See, it's ok to wear jeans and not put socks on, ONLY if you're as hunky as I am.

*tongue firmy in cheek*

Well maybe they say that to everyone aye.

Hey good news! I've seen visible weight loss after last weekend. I'm still fat but my tummy isn't that bloated anymore. One straight week of hanging out with Ann, I'd me Mr Manhunt in no time! Haha!

Anyway, I went for another interview with a Halal-certified catering company this morning and I practically got the job. The terms aren't as good as the sales one but it's still better-paying than my last job at FNS. It's 20 mins away from my current home too.

It's up to me to turn up on Wednesday morning. I'm still pondering. Still wondering why I keep getting sucked back into FNB. Haha. Like I told Liana, it's like being in a marriage that I don't want. FNB and I are one and the same. Like flies to rotten banana! LOL!

The boss keeps harping on the fact that I do not have a driver's licence and all. A "handicap" he said a few hundred times during the interview but I guess my resume says it all. FNB through and through, Halal-specialist too.

Turned out the guy also has a Halal foodcourt going on in the East and I would also be handling some of the Halal matters there as and when needed especially during the Halal-certification renewal period and less on the daily maintenace since they already have someone permanent there. Besides, I'm more on his catering side of things.

On the whole, although I haven't decided, I'd say I'd feel more at home with this job. It's a new environment but FNB is FNB, all I need to do is get myself soaked into a routine, settle myself down. And also, I'd be in charge of the operations. That means no sitting around on my sexy butt in the office the whole day which is more my cup of coffee.

My sister Lilies has also found herself a job. She'd DEFINITELY feel right at home over there!

*chuckle*

No, really.

*Hyuk hyuk hyuk*

Talking about home and all, sadly, we might have to look around for another place Liana, Jelte and I as our lease here is over soon and may not be renewed. Both sides are still in discussion.

I don't know about them, but I could be staying with Lilies for a couple of months before I look for a room to rent. Need to ride over this storm first before I commit myself into more unwise financial moves.

Compilation of tributes to Knight of Pentacles, Singapore serf*

*To my understanding, "serf" means "slave of the system".

Below is a list of tributes I, another Singapore serf, have compiled in response to the Knight's sudden passing:

news on Singapore Serf by smazh

I used to read his posts, but now he is gone.
Goodbye, Singapore Serf.

A tribute to a knight by Calamity Man

He was living my dream... while I'm still here in the place that I really do not like (as did he) trying to make it and perhaps join him in a happy reunion in Perth in the near future.

A Tribute to A Singapore Knight - Knight of Pentacles (May You Rest In Peace) by ldsdtsunami

I hold very high regards and admiration for KOP. His blog on his migratory process from Singapore to Perth,Australia is an I.N.S.P.I.R.A.T.I.O.N.

Good Night, Good Knight by the author of Bohemian Philosophy

... I know he was an intelligent man, always cautious of what he says or do. I’m aware that he is extremely in love with D and look forward to having her here so they can start a new life together.

Good Bye, Knight of Pentacles by D T

Condolences to his family and loved ones.

Farewells: To birthdays-past & Singapore Serf by Patricea Chow

His death has once again hammered in the reality of how transient and unpredictable life is, and so we should chase our dreams to our best ability and to appreciate those dear to us.

RIP KnightOfPentacles by Elia Diodati

Thanks for the shared thoughts and crossed swords... you were the most gentle knight I know.

Knight of Pentacles by Han

I may not know him personally, but I know him to be a kindred spirit, a fellow skeptic of state power.

Bad News... and a Tribute to a Friend by Singapore Calamari

Life doesn't seem to be very fair to him. He led a hard life, taking everything that life has thrown him. Worked his way to get what he wanted, and just when things are finally turning out for the better, he is no longer able to enjoy the fruits of his labour.

See Ya, Knight of Pentacles by Amazonian

The first time we met, I fetched him from the bus stop near our King's Park home. He had with him a crate of beers. That guy may be broke, but he's got style.

The Knight was a force to be reckoned with... L (I've decided I will refer to him by his real initial now) was very industrious. Looking for work every single waking hour. Thinking only of the prize at the end: to settle down somewhat, secure jobs, get a place, then D, his beloved girlfriend, could join him this year...

Rest in peace, to the man who was an inspiration to many.

A tribute to a knight

My sister Liana called me five minutes ago sounding distraught. She was crying.

Apparently our friend, Knight of Pentacles, had just left us for a better place... better than anything on Earth... better than Perth... last Monday, 17th of July.

She heard it from another acquaintance, Calamari, a very close friend of KOP's as you can see from his tribute to the man, just before she gave me a call.

Of course she had reason to be distraught. Jelte and her spent a lotta time together with the man when they were both trying to make it in Perth.

I had the honour of crossing paths with the man myself. All of us knew about one another through our blogs before we actually met up. We all had something in common.

Perth.

I only met KOP last November when I was in Perth. He didn't want his photos taken or his real name mentioned. We connected on many fronts. To me, he wasn't just another guy. To me, he was a symbol. He was a symbol that we all can live the dream with a little bit of struggle. He was a symbol of courage and determination.

He was living my dream. He was there in Perth, living in the very place he wanted to live in, doing the exact things he wanted to do... . Of course he struggled a little but he knew something has got to give in order for him to live it, and he did(!) while I'm still here in the place that I really do not like (as did he) trying to make it and perhaps join him in a happy reunion in Perth in the near future.

But that wasn't to be.

He was only in his 30s. No one, not even his housemates who found him knew how he passed on. As yet, there are no answers. Just questions. Life is so fragile.

Life. Is. So. Fragile.

It is making me stop for a while and wonder things about myself.

Will I ever make it?

To whomever is reading this who knew the man and knows how to reach his family and his girlfriend D, please extend Liana, Jelte and my condolences to them.

Al Fateha.

lifeisnotabeach

I heard a lot of "smacking" sounds this morning. Yeeeah, people all over the planet were smacking their foreheads simultaneously after reading my last entry. They were each followed by a weird-sounding "gloob gloob gloob" sound of rolling eyeballs too.

So anyway, in the end I decided to play nice.

I dragged my bum to the office, printed out for them the telesales script, telesales contact list (which contained about 400 names and numbers) and appointment list that I've painstakingly prepared, rescued my personal optical mouse that I've been using for the computer, left my resignation letter and walked out the door.

Calamity Man has left the building.

Uh-hm. I can feel the CalamityCorp stock diving nose first into the concrete so fast we actually have to pay people to buy our shares.

I'm not creating any excuses. I know I suck. This past month have been another one of those things you save in a folder and store somewhere in a file called "lifeisnotabeach".

As I was browsing the classified ads this morning, one particular article practically shouted out to me. The headline was "DIRECT YOUR LIFE". I could almost hear someone else adding "dude!" at the end. It was custom-written for me.

In it, it said there is an old German saying: "You have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen the way you want to take it".

I don't know. Since the Germans said it, it must be true, right? Or was it getting drunk that they're experts at? Whatever.

A summary of the article goes like this. Ahem. La la la la la. EEEEEEEEEE! Ahek! Gulp.

Are you just planning to let life "happen" to you, or do you plan to play an active role in designing your life?

Some may not know where to get started so they just follow the crowd or take the path that is most hassle-free.

Unfortunately, more often than not, even the crowd doesn't know where it's going so everyone ends up like everyone else.

A lot of people take life for granted. They think everything will fall into place by itself when they're older.

Are you willing to take that chance?

We all know we want something. Financial freedom, wealth and lifestyle are catch words everyone is using.

But do they know how to achieve them? Or where to get them?

So now my advice is: Take the time right now to work a design for your life. Decide what role you want to play in it and how you want the plot to unfold.

Ameen to that.

Life in slow mo

It's 5.50 in the morning and I'm really dreading the idea of stepping into the office later.

I am wondering if I should just cut my losses, call my boss later on and tell him that I'm not coming in anymore because I don't find the situation at work suitable at all.

If I really do that, then I'm not ever applying for sales-related jobs anymore. I should stick to managing operations like my last job.

I'm still pondering but 80% says I don't wanna go back.

Hoot!

Ok so I finally have a cushy job where I sit on my ass the whole day in front of the computer.

But I'm not exactly ecstatic.

The job terms are nice but I don't think the nature of the job and the work environment suit me.

It's sales. I have now become exactly the kind of person that I hate most - A CANVASSER.

GAAAAAAA!!!

My colleagues are made up of individuals who each have like ten jobs each. They have no time for small talk. In fact not all of them are always in the office. Sometimes they have to drop by our clients' to do er, stuff. It gets pretty lonely in there.

And then it's my nature of job. I have to make my own appointments. I am THE sales team.

I hate to do cold-calls.

1) Because I hate to face rejection

2) Because I hate to lie

Telemarketing requires a huge amount of conniving. It requires me to lie. On the phone I tell my prospects that I'm not selling anything, that I only want to show them our product and then gather their feedback but in reality my strategy is to get my sexy ass in their territories first THEN I turn things around and swoop for the kill.

Straight road to hell, that's what I think.

It's not easy telemarketing. I now have a database of contact details and a phone script. I should be making at least 100 calls but no, I only made about 20 today.

I deliberately stalled things. I make two calls, I surf the net, female-dog with my sisters, go for a smoke, go to the toilet and I make another two calls. Repeat process.

Assuming one call takes five minutes and taking my official working hours into consideration, that would translate into me skiving for almost seven hours!

That's baaad.

I was sick of talking. I never really liked talking on the phone anyway. My own handphone rings like only three times a week and most likely they're from my own family members. I only make calls out like once a week. I'd rather send sms texts or email.

When people ask me how my day is, I tell them, "Read my blog". *rolleyes*

I got one appointment today from my first call but everything practically went downhill thereafter. I began to lose my nerve after the 15th call onwards. I lost my plot, script or no script.

I hope the situation improves. In my job, I have to sell even if it means I have to lie, cheat or steal which isn't something I take pleasure in doing. One year is not really that long but I don't see why I should allow myself to be miserable till the year is up.

I should have listened to the guy I met last week on one of my interviews. He gave me some forms to check. He said they were to find out what kind of personality I am.

I was shocked with the result. It was very precise. It categorized me as an "owl eagle" which means I am both "owl" and "eagle".

Being an "owl" means I am a meticulous person who would fit nicely in an operations management type job... which is way true.

The "eagle" means I am a go getter and I should be at home in any sales job.

In the personality test, I was more "owl" than "eagle" by a mile.

I'm so messed up.

The verdict

Gaaawd, my first day at Wiz (the name has been changed to protect the innocent dolphins in the seas off the Japanese Isles) was such a booore.

I was the earliest to reach work at exactly 0759hrs. The next guy came three minutes later as I was halfway through my cigarette. He had the keys. Dumb##%%%#!!!

Heh. It wasn't till more than an hour later that my boss and the lady boss came. In the meantime, I busied myself with the company's website (which has many English mistakes and is grossly under-maintained where some links don't lead to anywhere) while female-dogging with my sisters Liana and Lilies on the phone and GoogleTalk at the same time.

I was not happy with a few things as the day slowly passed me by.

There was the waiting, as above. And after the waiting, there was the stupid instruction from the lady boss for me to cold call some schools and start selling our products.

What the!?!?!?

Hello, I don't even know how to operate the damn thing!

It's a gadget. Most gadgets when stripped down to the barest minimum operate the same way as the rest of them and besides the purpose that it serves, that's all I know. Next to nothing.

I wasn't even given a list of names and numbers. I'd have thought they'd have done something like this before and should have some database somewhere but no-ho-ho-ho!

So, being the enterprising yet undervalued person that I am, I straightaway (Ok I rolled my eyes a few thousand times first then I) utilized the weapons I had at my disposal - the Internet, a pen and some paper to go to the ministry of education's website to check out the list of schools and their contact details.

I made a few calls. Tried to make it work with the pen and paper and no strategy and I quickly found myself up on a cliff. I had no telesales script, I had little knowledge and I had no proper way of keeping tabs of the status of calls that I made (prospect not available, prospect wants us to fax the details instead, etc).

So I stopped right there, read up on the company and its product and services a little more, spent the entire day copying and pasting details from the ministry's website onto the Word processor, at the same time segregating the schools via the zones that they are in as to be more systematic as well as came up with a proper telesales script complete with the "what ifs" and how to handle them.

I put all my past mixed up experiences into work and still managed to finish just two minutes past my working hours.

Along the way, I of course got to know a bit about the other guys (no girls, boohoo). There was this Malay guy, I think he was very excited to see one of his kind in the same company. His name is Bahaya (again, the name has been changed but this time to protect the identity of Spiderman). The first thing I asked him was if we are allowed to go for Friday prayers. He said yeah, as long as it's within our lunch time.

Great! I told him to bring a spare helmet on Fridays then.

The problem is though, he is a field technician and he spends a lot of time servicing our clients' technical problems... on their turf. Besides, I cannot take it for granted that I could always go for prayers. This is another job now and I am also required to go out to the field as and when needed.

I'll leave it as that.

On the whole, I was ecstatic to find out that I finally have my own desk though. Woo! I've finally made it!

But uh, trouble is, mine is the first desk you see when you enter the office. Meaning if someone presses our doorbell, I'm like the assigned doorman. AND, my computer is directly facing my lady boss' desk so I can't skive when she's around. Can't surf the net when I'm bored or anything.

I think she did it on purpose to have the best view of me. I'm OBVIOUSLY the most hunky dude in the entire organization from what I've seen (and she's quite hot for an older woman). Heh heh heh.

This would be my highest-paying job ever, I only work five days a week (no work on weekends!) and it's office hours. Period. What else would I want?

Never before man, never before has this happened to me. It's only for a year. Gotta keep my eyes on the prize.

Unconfusing confusion

I'd just like to clear something up.

This may offend some people but it is my stand on the matter and I will stick by it.

I actually do not like all this mumbo jumbo that has creeped into the religious practice in this region. I'm against it. I just feel wrong doing it.

Although I felt happy a few weeks ago after I express delivered to Heaven some food to my grandma through prayers and also for bathing in the special potion just to get a job recently, in my heart I know this is ridiculous.

What I felt (the happiness) was just a result of PLACEBO. The special prayer I performed last Friday night on the other hand, is in a different category.

It's a little overboard but you gotta understand that I had to do them for my mom even though it's against my own beliefs. I draw the line at a certain level but these things make her happy. What can a son do, huh?

Those amulets, special potion, artefacts or anything tangible that people say are supposed to be religious, are all tradition.

One must understand that Indonesia was once Hindu before it became Muslim. Some of the Hindu traditions found themselves in the people's Islamic practice as well, over the hundreds of years. And then they emigrated all over the place and spreaded the practice to wherever they ended up in.

For me, I'm the kind of guy who likes to strip things down to the lowest common denominator. When I observe something, I remove all mumbo jumbo and then I only take in the purest form or the most stripped-down form of whatever I am enriching my soul with. Everything I take in must be as close to its default condition as possible.

I know many people are waiting with bated breath to find out who I am gonna end up with to start my family. Well it's still a long way to go, but one thing's for sure - none of you will be invited to the wedding.

Because there won't be any.

It's important to stick with traditions but let's not get it confused with values and true religious practices (as per the sunnah). I'd rather use the money for my house... but you all can send the gifts over, no problem. When the time comes, you'll know which address to send 'em too. Heh heh.

The best birthday present ever

Yesterday was an exceptional job-searching day. Four companies called to interview me.

Wow. Four calls for interviews. If only they came earlier.

But Alhamdulillah thank God nonetheless. I'm sure things happen for a reason. I'm just a small screw in God's work.

Like I shared with my sisters Liana and Lilies, could it be because I performed my special prayer last Friday night? Or could it be because I bathed in the special potion* my mom got from some religious guy?

So I went for two interviews yesterday. One is for a sales position in an IT company which also has a Halal catering arm (I actually whoooped when they told me this. They laughed.) and the other is for a Travel Consultant in a corporate travel agency.

There was supposed to be two more today but I cancelled them.

1) Because I owe my beloved Perthlings a phone call at 1030hrs.
- Couldn't reach them last week as the kids are on their holidays and were on the dialup Internet 24/7
- Finally my sister Lilie wrote to me and we arranged for me to call today

2) Because the IT co called and offered me the position.
- This would be my highest paying job ever and in line with my short term plan which is to leave after a year, take a loan from GE Money, combine with my savings and start something
- It's located at Simei (Why the heck do my jobs always have to be so far?)

3) The first interview today is only to be my second interview in the happy-clapping sales co
- I'm not too excited about being around happy-clapping people
- If I was to pass this round, there is still the third round. It's too long

4) The other interview today is for a telemarketing position
- Yeah right

So it looks like I'm going for the IT co job. I may even have a chance to moonlight in their catering arm and I'm sure after seeing my resume, they won't mind. We covered a bit about this yesterday anyway.

Alhamdulillah.

But the Happy Planet Index I took was correct to point out that in regards to my personal feelings, I do have some anxieties (which are not too severe) about the future which are affecting my overall well-being.

That thing with Max I have, I'm afraid I'd have to ditch him, for want of a better word.

Firstly, I can, because we don't have a signed agreement between us.

Secondly, although there is a possibility of me owning the shop fully in the end, Max wants me to one day take over his entire operations... but this clashes with my own plan to leave the country at the earliest convenience.

Thirdly, I admit that the business has made Max rich through whatever manner he runs his operations, but for me, it is not organized. And when things aren't organized, it pisses me off. I am very meticulous and I must have order in the things that I'm involved in.

Lastly, even when I finally take over the shop fully, or even his whole operations, I'd still be a franchise and very much at the mercy of Max's thumb. It'd still feel like working for someone which is something I do not want to do anymore a year from now.

I plan to launch something in August 2007... a birthday present for myself if you must.

PS: It's weird. After writing this entry, I received two more calls from companies asking me to go down for an interview with them but I told them sorry, I have already got a job.


* Actually I don't believe in this. I'd rather know that the results I get is because of my own efforts and not because of some mumbo jumbo, but at this stage, I would give ANYTHING a shot.

Happy Planet Index (personal)

This poll is from the New Economics Foundation, which did the survey on the happiest countries in the world (Vanuatu - No 1, Zimbabwe - unhappiest in the world, Vietnam - No 1 in Asia, S'pore - last in Asia, etc.,). Check it out: HPI Survey

The questions on the following pages will ask you about where you live, your health, lifestyle, and how you feel about life. The answers you give are used to calculate your own personal score on the Happy Planet Index. How happy are you... and at what price to the environment?!

Here's mine: HPI Survey Feedback

[Average is of all online responses to this survey - not the average for your country]

* Happy Planet Index

Your personal Happy Planet Index (HPI) is 10, which is below that for any country, including bottom-placed Zimbabwe. Your score is below that of your country, 40.8.

You:
10 (Uh huh, tell me something I didn't already know.)
Average:
42.1

* Life Expectancy

Your life expectancy is lower than the average for your gender and country.

You:
66 (Woohoo, now I know I must be rich by 33 so I'd have half my life to spend all the money!)
Average:
79.4

* Ecological Footprint

Your ecological footprint is 4.78 global hectares, or 2.66 planets, which is below average for the country you live in. This is equivalent to the average in countries such as Germany, Spain or Netherlands.

You:
4.78 (See...? Not bad.)
Average:
5.29

* Life Satisfaction

Oh dear. You reported a life satisfaction of 2 when only 9% of respondents worldwide reported a life satisfaction of 2 or lower.

You:
2 (I'm not satisfied currently, really.)
Average:
6.71

* Well-being

The new economics foundation (nef), as with life satisfaction, a score of 5 is theoretically the middle score.

* Personal Feelings

You have some anxieties about the future or yourself which are affecting your overall well-being. These are not too severe though...

You:
5.05 (I am, yes. Sometimes I don't know what I'm fighting for since I keep losing anyway. Not too severe huh? I won't jump just yet then.)
Average:
6.02

* Personal Functionings

In some ways you are unable to function in the way you would like.

You:
4.96 (I am working at less than half of my true potential because I know this is not what I want to do.)
Average:
6.12

* Social Feelings

You are deeply unsatisfied with the community within which you live.

Another reason for this score, may be that you are unsatisfied by your personal relationships.

You:
2.69 (I hate my pesky neighbours and I'd rather live alone anyway, which I'm presently not.)
Average:
5.65

* Social Functionings

Your job is really not treating you well.

You:
3.76 (It's dull and stressful for the amount of money I bring back. Totally not worth it. Moving on!)
Average:
5.57

Oh SHOOT!

Yeeees ladies and gentleman I feel like crap right now.

Because why? Because once again I've successfully put myself in a calamitous situation.

Yup, yup, yup, totally my fault. I never learn. I deserve to be shot, rolled over by a tractor and hung on a totem pole with a bee hive on top while covered all over with honey.

What happened?

Max just told me that the result of our tender for the shop space at Eunos MRT station has to wait three weeks more. That's too damn looong.

I mean wow, that's madness because meanwhile, I have no job and no source of income and I totally put myself in this fix (no need to rub it in, go away).

I can sooo jump down from the tenth floor now.

See, the thing is there are two scenarios here.

If I get myself a permanent dream job now, what happens if SMRT accepts our tender? I can't just quit (again!).

And what if I get myself a crappy job just to have any source of income while holding on to hope of getting that shop space? I'd still want to quit so I could go look for a better job.

So both ways, I have to quit after three weeks to a month!

Wa *freaking* ha ha!

I suck!!!

Why can't I just walk away from the deal I have with Max just so I could sort my future out?

Because my lovely friends... we already... paid... two thousand dollars to bid for that bleeding shop space!

Ha *shoot me* ha ha!!!

I can't just walk away. That $2000's gonna be forfeited. It's madness!

Somebody shoot me please...

Happiness Index

World Happiness Index

Let's see... Colombia's on the list, Cuba (Cuba???) is on the list, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Thailand, Myanmmar, Malaysia, China, Vietnam and The Philippines are on the list, heck! even Iran and Palestine are on the list.

Singapore and Australia are not even within sniffing distance of the happiness index. Wow. Even New Zealand made it.

That's it. I'm moving to Vanuatu. Vanuawha-?

Vanuatu... the world's happiest country...

I could play with my pet dugong...

Sneak out for a while

Take my ride to anywhere I wanna go

Hurl myself off high places for the heck of it, just because I can

Go home at the end of the day... Look no insane rush hour traffic!

And play hide and seek with my kid (I'm under the missus' skirt, heh) while my house is burning at the back. Well, I could always build another one. That's what it's all about. Wide... open... spaces... .

I wanna get out of this place (notice I didn't mention "country").

Aaaaiiiiiieeeee!

Just a quick note to say that I can feel my ass on fire now, thank you come again.

Mother hen

I spent the last couple of days at my mom's in Yishun. It was only supposed to be one day but she asked if I could stay for the weekend and since I wasn't doing anything I said ok.

The only reason why I don't like to stay there for more than a day is that I wouldn't know what to do. I can only eat so much and talk so much. I don't really talk much anyway and I take less than two hours to finish reading my daily dosage of English newspapers.

I took my mom out to watch Superman Returns on Friday night. It's not something I'd watch on my own. I don't really like Superman in general but movie-wise, it's something my mom would understand. Clever plots and twists are really not her thing.

Handsome hero + mind-blowing pyrotechnics + less talk = good movie as far as she's concerned, remember?

And I was right. The movie was bad as I expected. The plot was bad, Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor wasn't bad enough but I thought the guy who played Superman was good looking. That's about it.

I spent much of Saturday afternoon rediscovering Yishun. I walked around my old neighbourhood and the Northpoint Shopping Centre twice to see what changes there has been since I moved out and I also went to Sembawang's Sun Plaza just to check the place out since I haven't really been there before.

That's pretty much all I did.

My mom was excited that I was there and as usual she cooked up a frenzy, chicken rice this time, Chinese-style, despite my protests. She just couldn't accept the fact that I was watching my diet. She just had to cook something special for me no matter what.

So I let her. There went all the work I achieved this past week but uh, I don't always get to visit her so why the heck not. I'll just run my fats off on Monday (I don't run on weekends).

I actually achieved quite a bit in the dieting department for your information. I didn't have to struggle into my jeans that much anymore when I was putting them on last Friday for the interview.

Chilly

So today is supposed to be the day I finally know if our bid to rent that last shop at Eunos MRT station is successful or not. Not yet, maybe later or tomorrow.

In any case, if that doesn't go through I've been on a job-hunt anyway.

I just went to another interview this morning for a Marketing job.

If anything, I told myself, I'd at least wanna check out the girl who called to inform me of this interview yesterday. She sounded hot and today I discovered that she IS hot. Of course I flirted with her a little bit. Who cares about the job!?

Just kidding.

A job would be nice of course. They pay quite well too but I wasn't excited about the happy-clapping going on in one of the rooms as I was waiting to be interviewed. They are like this typical brain-washing sales organizations. I sensed a chilly feeling of fake positive energy going around in that place.

I don't know. I'm waiting for them to call and for SMRT to call and for another friend to call to before I'd get a clearer picture on how to react. This other friend of mine runs a FnB business with his brother and we were supposed to meet to see if we could collaborate.

Worse case scenario, Cheers is always looking for people, as does McDonald's, as does 7-eleven and there are plenty of security officer jobs to be filled too... . Hur hur hur.

Code Green

Hah! I got my full pay from one source - my former company. Amazing what a little Calamity-muscle-flexing can do.

They must have not submitted my reservist pay claim, otherwise I'd receive the salary for the five days from MINDEF instead of them.

Darn people kept insisting that they've submitted the claim. Ok, maybe they tried but it didn't go through. They don't even know what they're doing. Goodness... . All that heartache for nothing.

But thank God. At least I was rich for two minutes. And then I had to pay my bills, blah blah blah. However, I'm still on their payroll till the 6th of August for the period 1st July-6th July. Woo!

PS: I know there are two Swissotels. That's why I asked the receptionist to check if there was anything at all in ANY of the SwissotelS in Singapore. But thank you for pointing that out anyway.

Vanishing act

Just a note to say that if I don't update my blog all of a sudden for a significant period of time, it only means my laptop has died. Kaput.

It's kaputing already. Slowly but surely. Bit by bit.

The top 15% to 25% of the LCD screen tends to vanish every now and then and when that happens I won't be able to navigate my way around my browser so it's tough.

I'd have to sell some bodyparts to get another laptop. Let me know if you know anyone who's looking for a toenail or an eyelash or something ok.

Swissotel

I was supposed to go for the Sales job interview with Laguna Bintan Resort at Swissotel this morning, which I did but uh, turned out there wasn't any.

Weird.

A lady with an Indonesian accent (obviously, since the job would take me to Bintan, Indonesia) called me last week to inform me of the time and place of the interview. She only said to go to Swissotel on Wednesday at 1030hrs so I asked where exactly in Swissotel will it be and she said to ask the reception counter on the day as she haven't got those details.

Today is Wednesday right? Maybe she meant Swissotel in Switzerland. Are there any Swissotels in Switzerland in the first place? Or was it Sweet Hotel or Swiss Hostel and I heard wrongly.

So I asked the receptionist to check if Laguna Bintan Resort had booked a room or a conference room or a convention hall or even the toilet, but no.

I asked her to check if there was anything, anytime, any day this week in any of the Swissotels in Singapore, but no can do either.

Damn it.

I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning. I stayed up till 0545hrs watching Germany lose 0-2 to Italy. I hate Italy!*



* Only for this World Cup. Normal affections for Italy will resume thereafter.

Oil on canvass

People just cannot walk around freely these days without having someone stop them every ten metres or so trying to sell them something. Take a survey, put money in the box for crappy music (I'm only paying if you STOP), buy some cheap knock-offs, sign up for insurance!

This is surely true for me. I've found myself walking with my eyes fixed on the ground trying very hard not to make eye contact with a potential canvasser.

I understand these guys need to make a living but they're causing hell to my life. Did they ever think of that? All I want is to be able to take a stroll from Point A to Point B without stress. That's all I'm asking. If I wanted to get something, I'll go and find it. You don't find me. Go away.

I know where these guys are coming from. I know their tricks. They'll tell you, "Oh I'm not trying to sell you anything!" just so you'd let your guard down. I have at one point been in their shoes myself. I know how they work.

When I was a canvasser I always felt guilty when I was approaching my "prey" because I knew I was lying. All I wanted was their details so I could harass them some other day.

Don't they get it? There can only be so many canvasser on this island. There are only so many people around gullible enough to keep falling for the same old, same old tricks.

Give. Me. A. Break.

Guns or roses

I'm so pissed off with my former company. As with many local companies I come across they like to give people the run around. No one wants to take responsibility, not even the person with the position for a certain job scope.

Here's the thing. Until now, technically my former company is not my former company till this Thursday. I am just clearing my leave at the moment while taking a break and I should be paid till then.

The break I'm enjoying right now is for the public holidays that I've worked, for the off days that I've come back to work, for the days that I covered my co-manager when he was on leave as well as for my leftover annual leave all accumulated into one lump.

I've checked with MINDEF on the status of my reservist pay claim that my company should have submitted on my behalf for the five days that I served recently and I only saw a small amount which is for my rank pay and have nothing to do with my company.

It's simple. The company should pay me five days' less of my full salary. MINDEF should be covering the five days' salary. All in all, my salary should come from two sources but would still be the same amount I've been drawing all this time.

They're giving me the runaround at the office. They are telling me to check with MINDEF, MINDEF is telling me to check with my office. No one wants to ensure anything.

I think they're just trying their luck. So I'm giving it till my payday this coming Thursday. If I find my salary being cut by five days and yet the compensation by MINDEF is zero, I'll make someone pay.

If all the numbers are correct, I'll put my gun down. If not, we'll see how lucky they think they are.

Red nose

Last night my nose was running like a broken faucet and I was shivering under my blanket but now I feel a little better.

I only had some bread, porridge and soup yesterday and the effect is great. Although I am still fat, I feel lighter. I can't remember when was the last time I went through a day without junk food, meat and tidbits.

My mother came today and together with Liana, they tag teamed to fuss over me and everything. We all had home made yong tau foo for lunch and a lotta fruit.

I have a red nose but overall I think I'm getting better. I feel less mucus and phlegm in my system and I'm sweating like mad.

Just need to rest more.

And the bugle sounds

Alright, I surrender, I give up, "White flag!"

I'm down with viral infection again in less than a month and it's all because of me. I've no one else to blame but myself.

Liana even refused to share with me her chocolate chip cookies and chocolate bar just now. Instead, she made me porridge, gave me some medication and continued clucking away at me to watch my health like she always does as I laid defenceless like a bird with flu.

Obviously, gorging everything down light a dump truck last night contributed to this and the chain smoking the day before reeeeaally didn't help.

I'm gonna have to start listening to Liana. I've to live healthy again and that's gonna start today (sometimes people have to be bitten before they realize. Ow.).

Gradually.

Through resistance training. I mean not as in training to be a resistance fighter but to deliberately subject myself to a fitness regime that gradually increases in its level of difficulty.

It's important not to suddenly throw yourself into an extreme fitness regime because your body may be shocked... and sometimes to death too.

Sidetracking a little, I've always imagined myself either dying from a horrible accident or from a horrible terminal disease like heart attack, diabetes, cancer, stroke, etc. So my point is, it'd be ironic if I was to die from fitness training.

As someone who is somewhat knowledgeable on this matters, I can assure you that a fitness regime does not only consist of physical activities like exercise. It also consists of nutritional intake.

Mind to self: "Ok listen, let's not be drastic here. Are you sure we can't talk it over, heh, eh heh, heh."

I mean, something's got to give and here's my back-to-basics plan. If I could make and keep the commitment of praying five times a day, I can do this. It's for my own good.

1. Cut down smoking to ten sticks (OOOMPH!)
2. No meals between 2200hrs and 1000hrs (AH!)
3. Only fruit and/or soupy whatever between 1001hrs-1800hrs (YIKES!)
4. Anything from 1801-2159hrs (WHEW...)
5. Run 2.4km three times a week (EEKS!)
6. Five basic exercises of 10 repetitions each after every run (AW MAN...)

Please take note the above is only the Superhero Resistance Training Level -5 and will gradually be increased as and when I feel ready to torture myself more and more.

All this is only because as a superhero, I want to serve my people better.

Ta jia hao!? I love you too! Wo ai ni! Xie xie!* (waves around looking all touched and emotional)

*How's everyone!? I love you! Thank you!

Heidi's Birthday 06

Last night we had dinner at the Muslim seafood stall at the coffeeshop near my place to celebrate Heidi, my pet rabbit's birthday (1st July). It was one of those get togethers we arrange like only one day beforehand kinda thing and then anything goes.

It was worth it. The food was good and affordable.

Together we had nasi goreng pattaya (spicy fried rice wrapped in omelette), nasi ayam (chicken rice, minus the chicken), hot plate tofu, omelette, chap chai (mixed vegetables on a hot plate), wan ton noodle (dumpling noodle), lemon butter chicken and a few other things.

I can't remember them all. My job was to collect money from everyone, order the food, eat two-thirds of everything, finish everyone's leftovers and pay at the end.

When I'm not eating I took some pictures which weren't a lot since I was busy eating most of the time.

Liana and some silly fat nerd in glasses

Leita with Ball Ball who's experiencing brain freeze

Lilies, my rabbit and Wang

Jelte with Liana

Chilling out together watching the humans be stupid are a yet unnamed big-nosed hippo and Floppy Fluffy Socks the really soft polar bear whose name is a combination of what Jelte, Liana, some silly fat nerd guy and Heidi call it, even though it's rightfully Heidi's and no one else has a share

Birthday rabbit unknowingly flashes a big smile, while cake terrorist stands by to swoop

This is evidence that Floppy Fluffy Socks is bigger than Heidi (ANYTHING* is bigger than Heidi, tell her to stop arguing)

Another evidence proving that Leita tried to grab big-nosed hippo from Ball Ball, depriving her own child to play with it (get your own hippo!)

*ANYTHING except Nadya my pet mouse