Work matters

Last week, I was approached by 768's management to help them settle two new foodstall's Halal application.

My response was simple. I said, "What benefit is there for me?" I am posted at 399 solely to manage 399's foodcourt operations. Why should I bother about whether other outlets sink or float?

Actually I feel bad for the way I handled it but not for being upfront. If there's one thing good about this job I've mentioned time and again, it is the fact that because of what I do, my community has more options to eat out.

But my company has been taking me for granted to the point of stepping on my head for a while now and it's about time I stood my ground.

Firstly, if they had taken up my offer back then to make me overall in charge of our company's Halal matters, this wouldn't be a problem.

Secondly, my company has an issue with hiring people from the minority community and it so happens that the Muslim community is the minority here.

A couple of valid reasons are that all company-wide meetings are conducted in Mandarin, daily sales reports should be typed in Mandarin and most of our tenants speak Mandarin. It also so happens that most members of the Muslim community don't do Mandarin.

For me, I speak and understand Mandarin so I'm considered quite important but unfortunately I don't write or read Mandarin. Too bad, huh?

I've reminded the powers that be many a time that if we are gonna tap into the Halal food industry then we'd have to take a more serious approach. Otherwise, we're just moving around in circles and superb employees like me will start to drag their feet to work.

After a while of working in this company, I do feel that there is an invisible ceiling placed on top of me. It's like I'm being exploited because of my Muslim status just to get the Halal certifications for the stalls and to maintain them when they've been acquired but I'll never have a chance to move up the ladder no matter how much I try.

Do remember that I'm carrying two portfolios but only one salary. Halal management is one thing. I also manage the foodcourt operations.

That's why I have decided not to stick around for long. Just long enough for me to put my masterplan in place and then off I go looking for greener pastures!

Shining, shimmering, SPLENDID!

This is it.

This is how it goes, all things constant.

I continue working here till earliest end of July.

Meantime, by end April:

1. I register Gung Ho
2. Gung Ho's website goes LIVE
3. I sell gadgets strictly on eBay
4. I tender for the cleaning contract at 399 (the current contractor's contract ends in May)

Uh huh. I shall be a professional cleaner.

Haven't you guys noticed? I'm made for this! I've all the while been wiping people's asses after they shit and putting their shit together after they've messed up anyway. This is a perfect transition.

Anyway, as a cleaning contractor, I will only specialize in cleaning operations in food establishments as that's where my knowledge lies.

The capital is manageable, the operations straightforward and the revenue although not much, is always on time (if I stick with foodcourt operations).

Some may think that it'd be embarassing to be a cleaner at the outlet or even the company I used to work at but that could actually be used to my advantage.

I know everyone, I know the rules and regulations, I know what people want, I know what is lacking and I know what needs to be done. Besides, a lot of people already think I am the cleaning supervisor anyway, so it's just a matter of really becoming one now officially. Heh.

Of course I cannot run the operations while still gainfully employed by my company. Therefore I have already a masterplan in place to counter this... "problem".

*Rubbing hands in glee*

I'm sooo smart.

I've also shared with Eric about this and he's alright with it. Strangely, he's also set the same time to get out of 399 and at current planning to also venture out, albeit into the food business with a few of the tenants.

All I can say is that everyone's trying to earn an honest living and trying to improve their quality of lives so we're left with no choice but to take the fight where the fight is.

That gadgets and eBay thing, I just gotta do for the heck of it. Itchy backside. No further explanation required.

What happens to the website thing then?

I don't know. But I've already paid for it so I might as well see how it's gonna look like. In time, I'll fill it in if I have anything to put in there.

Wild women of the wild, wild West

And I don't mean the Perthlings. You know who you are.

399 is like a small village community. Everyday we see the same old people patronising our foodcourt. We know who is who, who likes to eat what, we share news, we are friends.

Yesterday, three ladies came to complain to me about certain food they ordered that didn't turn out right. I noticed they have been patronising us only for the past week or so. I bet they're planning out their modus operandi during this stretch of time.

Some customers, tenants and workers came to me today to share with some things about these ladies.

Apparently, they're consters.

I also bet that they didn't take into consideration that tenants have stalls elsewhere and not just one stall in one foodcourt in the whole of Singapore, that even their workers move from outlet to outlet and that our dear, old customers do eat elsewhere too.

These conwomen have a baaaad reputation in the wild west of Singapore.

They target food establishments for freebies or goodies by picking on lousy service or lousy food. They do this for a living. They had this impression that FNS is a new company. What they didn't know is that we do already have several other FNS outlets which are part of a bigger company which has been around for many years.

Obviously they hadn't been to other FNS outlets and thought FNS 399 was one small company and the only FNS outlet around. I mean they can't pick a food establishment to con more than once right?

Now that I recall back to yesterday, yes it did seem they're trying to pull a fast one on me.

Firstly the auntie pulled me aside looking urgent while I was in the middle of interviewing someone for a job. Bah! Crap acting! Clue No 1.

So anyway, the first thing she hit me with was a sob story. Clue No 2. Before anything, she already started by telling me that the kids whom she was with weren't hers. They were her late sister's kids who passed away last month. Yeah, sure. Uh huh.

After that she tried to win me by saying that the kids loooove FNS 399 so much and they aaaalways go there as they enjoy the food and ambience so much. Clue No 3 but I wasn't buying.

Then she said that she had no intention to benefit from this (Clue No 4) but she felt that it was the right thing to do. She felt that it was her God-given duty to inform me that the boiled eggs they were served were spoilt, the kaya on the waffle was sour, the ice jelly dessert had one big ant in it and that the fried banana fritters had one piece of hair.

This was 1830hrs ladies and gentlemen. How in the world did we get through the first 9 hours of operation yesterday without one single complaint and now suddenly, FOUR at a go? Clue No 5.

According to my customer friends, tenants and workers, they finished everything they were served including the free goodwill replacements before they went to me to complain. Clue No 6.

Nevertheless, I apologised for the unfortunate series of mistakes.

All this time her partners in crime, two of her "nieces" entered the conversation one by one to pressurise me.

I didn't budge.

I'd like to think my management skills have improved ever since working for this company and one of the stronger attributes I believe I possess is "equality to all". I treat everyone fair and square.

During our conversation, my supervisor tried to come in to defend herself and I said no. Go away. I wanna listen to the lady first and after that I'd attend to her. Even when the tenants tried to butt in when they needed my help, I said no, later.

After a while, it occured to me that they were looking to benefit from this afterall. They're just going on and on saying that it's not about the money but kept quoting examples of what they gained from the past from complaining to hotels and a few other food establishments like getting free vouchers, free this and free that. They're totally contradicting themselves. Clue No 7.

I didn't budge.

Then they brought in the fact that one of the "nieces" works in a hotel and that if someone was to bring up something like this to any one of them, they'd definitely bend over backwards to make up for their "mistake". Why the need bring this up if you're not looking to benefit? Clue No 8.

If they thought I was gonna kow tow to them, grab a knife and commit harakiri in shame in front of them, they thought wrong. I'm not the kind of guy you pick on for these games.

I didn't budge.

Then the other "niece" pretended to call someone on the phone called Patrick to give the impression that she's lodging a complain while the others threatened me in a subtle way "You don't want news of this to spread to the local papers, do you?" and "You don't want this to affect your cleanliness rating, riiiight?" Clue No 9.

Nice try, but no. I didn't budge.

Finally I told them look, I was in the middle of giving an interview to someone and I need to get back to him right then. For the benefit of the doubt, I admitted there were a few mistakes but I wouldn't be able to take any action by continuing to sit around at the table. I have to then listen to my supervisor's side of the story, verify the problems and rectify them and to do those, believe it or not, I must actually leave my seat.

And then they went berserk. Clue No 10.

Suddenly I was blamed for not doing anything about it (Whaaaat?!?!?!). Suddenly they pointed fingers at me that whatever I and we do behind the scene, God is watching us as though they're accusing us of trying to cheat our customers deliberately. Suddenly I was accused of not giving a damn and they knew that I thought that I could afford to lose them as customers as there will always be others. Suddenly they accused me of not addressing their concerns enough and they felt I was putting a time limit on them.

All the while I was calm, cool and composed. I think I actually pissed them off.

Excuse me, did I not attend to them immediately even though I was in the middle of an interview?

Did I not tell my supervisor to shut up and go away when she wanted to butt in to defend herself as I wanted to hear their side of the story first?

Did I not tell my tenants to wait for I thought these women's concerns were more important?

Another thing was, I thought after attending to them which I thought would be short (but I thought wrong), I could finish up my interview and then attend to my tenants' needs as my appointment with God (evening Maghrib prayer) was coming and that is more important than anything else for me. I had all of ten minutes left by then before I had to go to the mosque.

But I still did. Not. Budge.

I think they gave up on me. For once, I was happy to be given up upon. Anyway they asked for my superior's number. They finally decided I was a waste of their precious time. Hmmm, maybe they they thought they should try another guy to con since they've already put so much effort into this? I gave them Eric's.

Eric came and went.

I knew Eric would diffuse the situation. We're like two ends of a magnet but we work well together. He's more of Yes man than I am. He says what other people want to hear. He apologised profusedly.

That makes him the PR person between us. I just do the actual work around.

On an aside, I didn't really like the way Eric tackled this problem or other problems in the past. His goal has always been that as long as the problem-making element walks out the door, the problem is solved.

But the problem is still here, in us, the tenants, my supervisor and I. He pacified the conwomen but he didn't give us much of a chance to explain what really happened on the ground when he wasn't around.

To him, he da man but to the tenants and my supervisor, I da man. I am da man among manly men. I am - The Calamity Man.

Unquotabling quotes

Whoever came up with the phrase "Customers are always right" obviously hadn't worked a day in his life in the service industry.

"Show me a customer who argues with reason and I'll show you a flying shoe."

Sometimes it's better to act stupid than to act smart because the emptiest vessel makes the loudest noise.

Go West

So I was on my way to work when at the Jurong East MRT Interchange I noticed two Caucasian middle aged men looking somewhat lost.

But never fear, for the Calamity Man's here!

Me being such a kind, generous and helpful person and all, sometimes to a fault, craned my neck over and asked, "You guys know where you going?"

They said yeah they're going to Boon Lay to catch a bus to the bird park. Oh well, I'm not much of a help. They are heading the right direction afterall.

But I noticed their accent. It's an accent I like. It's, it's Australian!

So I coolly asked, "From Australia?" and they replied, "Yeah, from Perth! Have you been to Perth?!"

Have I -

Have I been to Pfffft! *rolleyes*

Have I been to Perth?

I to have Perth been?

Perth to have been I?

*more rolleyes*

"Yeah. Once." I replied.

"And I loved it." I added.

"I'm in love with Perth." I added somemore.

The guys must have thought I'm mad or something. I mean some people are obsessed about Singapore and I think they're nuts.

Anyway, they're nice folks. Perthlings are mostly nice. Except maybe one or two. Heh.

Two days ago, someone I met on the Net asked me something to the effect of "What is is about you and Perth? You seem to write about it all the time..." and my response was:

You know that cheesy song that goes "I know I love you before I've met you"? Or something like that. That's how Perth is like for me.

I've been in love with Perth since I knew it existed which would be some time when I was 13 when my eldest sister moved there when she got married. The best thing was it took me 13 more yrs before I finally got my ass there last Nov.

And then I realized... I was right all along. I am in love with Perth, warts and all. Some things you just can't explain.

If I die before I get there, I'd like my body to be buried in Perth. It's that bad.

You better coz that's the only way I'm gonna rest in peace. Otherwise I will come back to haunt all of you as The Ghost of The Unhappy Singaporean. HooooOoOoOOOOoO...

Planing things out

Been deep in thought these past few days.

I know it's still some way to go but I can't keep my mind of it. Business that is.

I need to be involved in something that would at least supplement my current meagre income.

The problem is, even my capital is meagre so it takes a lot of thinking.

Thinking about if I was to sell this particular product, where do I get it from? And then where do I store it? How much will it set me back by? How do I market it? Will there be a demand for it? I don't want to be stuck with unsold items like before. What are the stuff that I can do myself? The idea is to cut cost wherever possible and maximise whatever it is at my disposal.

To be honest, I'm all for dealing in healthcare supplies like adult diapers, surgical gloves, N95 masks, wheelchairs, etc as I believe the demand will be endless for people grow sick and old all the time but storage will be a problem.

Storhub's storage solution would set me back by $350 a month when for $50 more I could get a substantial-sized office space at Macpherson which also covers utility bills as well as broadband Internet connection.

But office space would have to be furnished and equipped and at the lowest, that'd need at least $500 more. I'm also not confident that I can sell as fast as I can pay for my fixed expenses.

Whew!

Is there someone out there who has a small commercial space somewhere for me to store my stuff? I won't be there all the time. Will only go there to prepare my orders as well as restock.

Then I thought of using whatever I have now, things that are already in my life like my sister's books and our combined movie collection that I could sell on eBay but I figured it wouldn't really be worth my effort as the profit margin will be low and the competition rife.

It still makes a good eBaying opportunity though. These are stuff that's already lying around and just waiting to be bidded on. Well I'm quite half-hearted about this so I'll put that aside for now.

Then I thought of the intagible things that I possess. Short of renting myself out (heh), I could offer Halal consultancy to food establishments and also copywriting. Not a bad idea. I'll have to rely on word of mouth for this.

If I was to charge every food stall in my foodcourt for Halal consultation, I'd be rich but as it is, this is one of my job scopes so I can't do that.

As for copywriting, there are times when I look at business websites or job ads or whatever and I feel the urge to call them up or email them to point out their mistakes. It doesn't leave a good impression on one's business when their slogan go something like "We specialised in plumbing!" What happened to the other times? Not specialists in plumbing anymore?

Guess I'm stuck with eBaying. Although I'm working on my Gung Ho Ventures website right now, I don't have enough things to fill it up with - tangible or intangible.

I'm trying to find out how much it'd cost for me to bring in stuff that complements portable gadgets if not the portable gadgets themselves, stuff that has to do with VOIP as well as revolutionary products that is rarely found here.

Let's see how this goes.

Short term plan - to supplement my current income

Mid term plan - to get out of this job

Long term plan - to get outta here!

God please help.

How do I...

... get through the day?

It's weird. Having days off on a weekend is weird. I don't know what to do about it.

Let's think. Focus. Ommmm...

1) Sweep floor
2) Scrub toilet
3) Have Lunch
4) Read papers
5) Draw Liana's book

Ok. Done. Gonna do those.

Nothing too strenuous today. Just gonna slow everything down and pretend I'm in Perth. Don't call me coz I won't answer.

1653hrs update: Happy to learn that Gangs of New York is showing on Channel 5 at 2230hrs later. Yay! Finally a real program on TV!

Back to the future

Firstly I want everyone to really understand that I'm not trying to be an evangelist. Whatever below is what I found while surfing the Net and I found it nice in a way that some of the things that happened in the past actually did occur in history.

Secondly, this is no way being me trying to force things down your throats. I have no problem with people of whatever backgrounds or whatever you choose to practice as long as you do not have any intention to hurt or harm others in any way.

Please read it like as though they're just extra bits of useful information.

Best viewed with an open mind on Firefox. Heh.

The Signs leading to Judgment Day are listed in brief summary roughly in chronological order, although the order is not necessarily precise, especially for those in the future.

There are many books, articles, cassettes etc which discuss these in greater detail. May Allah enable us to recognize and heed The Signs and strengthen us in the times of tribulation.

"Are they waiting for anything except the Hour, to come to them suddenly? But its Signs have already come!" (Al-Quran, Surah Muhammad)

It's coming! It's coming!

Past

1. Splitting of the Moon.

2. Death of the Prophet Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.

3. A form of death, which will kill thousands of Muslims. (Understood to refer to the plague of Amwas during the caliphate of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab.)

4. A major fighting in Madinah (understood to refer to the battle of al-Harrah during the caliphate of Yazid, 63 AH).

5. The Muslim conquest of Jerusalem.

6. The Muslim conquest of Constantinople.

7. Two large groups of Muslims will fight in war.

8. A war between the Muslims and a reddish people with small eyes, wearing sandals made of hair (understood to refer to the Mongol Tatar invasion of the Islamic lands).

9. A peace agreement between the Muslims and non-Muslims from the yellow race (Chinese, Mongols, etc).

10. Thirty impostors (Dajjaal) will appear, each thinking he is a prophet.

Present

11. Naked, destitute, barefoot shepherds will compete in building tall buildings.

12. The slave-woman will give birth to her master or mistress.

13. A trial (fitnah), which will enter every Arab household.

14. Knowledge will be taken away (by the death of people of knowledge), and ignorance will prevail.

15. Wine (intoxicants, alcohol) will be drunk in great quantities.

16. Illegal sexual intercourse will become widespread.

17. Earthquakes will increase.

18. Time will pass more quickly.

19. Tribulations (fitan) will prevail.

20. Bloodshed will increase.

21. A man will pass by the grave of another and wish he was in the latter's place.

22. Trustworthiness will be lost, i.e. when authority is given to those who do not deserve it (like GWB but that's just my own opinion).

23. People will gather for prayer, but will be unable to find an imam to lead them.

Future

24. The number of men will decrease, whilst the number of women will increase, until for every man there are 50 women (Heaven on Earth or what? Just kidding!).

25. The Euphrates will reveal a treasure of gold, and many will die fighting over it, each one hoping to be the one who gains the treasure.

26. The Romans (Europeans) will come to a place called A'maq or Wabiq, and an army of the best people will go forth from Madinah to face them.

27. The Muslim conquest of Rome.

28. The Mahdi (guided one) will appear, and be the Imam of the Muslims.

29. Jesus Christ will descend in Damascus, and pray behind the Mahdi.

30. Jesus will break the cross and kill the swine, i.e. destroy the false Christianity.

31. The Antichrist (al-masih al-dajjal, the false Christ) will appear, with all his tools of deception, and be an immense trial. He will be followed by 70,000 Jews from Isfahan (present-day Iran).

32. The appearance of Ya'juj and Ma'juj (Gog and Magog), and the associated tribulations.

33. The emergence of the Beast from the Earth, carrying the Staff of Moses and the Seal of Solomon, who will speak to the people, telling them they did not believe with certainty in the Divine Signs.

34. A major war between the Muslims (including Jews and Christians who truly believe in Jesus after his return) led by the Imam Mahdi, and the Jews plus other non-Muslims led by the Antichrist.

35. Jesus will kill the Antichrist at the gate of Ludd (Lod in present-day Israel, site of an airport and a major Israeli military base).

36. A time of great peace and serenity during and after the remaining lifetime of Jesus.

37. Wealth will come so abundant that it will become difficult to find someone to accept charity.

38. Arabia will become a land of gardens and rivers.

39. Society will then decay.

40. The buttocks of the women of the tribe of Daws will again sway in circumambulation (tawaf) around the idol Dhul-Khulsah.

41. A great fire in the Hijaz, seen by the inhabitants of Busra.

42. Three major armies will sink into the earth: one in the east, one in the west, and one in Arabia.

43. An Abyssinian leader with thin shins will destroy the Ka'bah.

44. The huge cloud of smoke (nuclear war?).

45. The sun will rise from the west (its place of setting).

46. A gentle wind, which will take the souls of the believers.

47. There is no-one left on the earth saying, "Allah, Allah" or "There is no god except Allah."

48. Eventually the Day of Judgment is established upon the worst of the people, who copulate like donkeys in public.

49. The blowing in the Trumpet by the Angel Israfil, upon which everyone will faint except as Allah wills.

50. The second blowing in the Trumpet, upon which everyone will be resurrected.




Whew! Only 27 more to go guys! What a scary thought. @@

Homebound... without me!

Lilies and Lilie (with hair!)

I'm gonna miss Yasmine. She's so easy to get along with. Very lovable little person.

For the last time, THIS is where I come from dum dum, Aus-tray-lee-ah. Say it or I'm gonna kill you!

The kids snuggling up before the bus came to fetch us to the airport.

Lilie - Look ma! No hair!

Dickhead sharing a moment with his new pal, a robot.

Waiting for the bus was getting everyone restless.

Wa hey! Here it is! Let's roll out!

The Little People's Action Party was having a mini conference.

"How much would I get for them at Cash Converter's?" Ratna @ MsMumbles thought to herself. :P

That's one of our stepbrothers Red and his kid, Shereen.

That's his other kid, Zarie with Leita.

The kids were all over Ronald McDonald who must have been thinking, "What did I do to deserve this???"

I'm definitely gonna miss Aquila the noisy little smelly butt as well. I mean, who can I smack now? Liana? She's gonna beat me up, man!

Mumblemouse in her 3.7485secs of freedom. LOOK no ma!

Leita, Red and Shereen taking their ooown sweet time catching up with the rest.

Everybody just dilly dallying while trying to delay the boarding time till as late as possible.

Sorry folks. Didn't take any pictures while at McDonald's as I was busy stuffing my face and was also too busy hugging The Perthlings when they were about to board the plane. I also don't like to take photos of myself these days because my eyebags are ridiculous and I look haggard in general. Bleack!

Anyway...

Don't cry for me Aus-tray-leeah! The truth is I've never left you...!

*Snapping back to reality*

Farewell my Perthlings

The Perthlings are leaving this Wednesday. Boohoohoo.

We organized a farewell dinner for them at Selera Restaurant in Little India last night where they had Halal duck rice which Lilie very much wanted to have.

Hello! Wrong luggage!

Ook ook ook. Monkey see what in box. Ook ook ook. Banana see what monkey do.

The Mumbles and Lilie.

"Look what The Mumbles got for me! It's a um, uh, something something for uh, er, something something whatever! Wow!"

There's a mosquito on your nose!

Eeeeyeew GROSS!

STOMP STOMP STOMP! Mumblezilla destroys Tokyo.

The Nippon Fan Club in their all blue caps chowing down their table.

The Perthlets looking their best with Leita.

My itsy bitsy teeny weeny lil' mouse, Nadya who I haven't seen since I left for Perth last year likes to play a little hide and seek.

The problem with little critters is that they can get very cheeky with me. She's asking for a smack this time. Heh.



Sigh... we're gonna miss them aren't we..... ?

NAH! Haha.

Note to self

I was supposed to attend this seminar organized by the Singapore Sports Council (SSC) this coming Thursday but now I'd have to forego it. I can't take time off because I'd have to cover Eric who has to go for a company-level meeting at the head office.

The seminar is about this opportunity thing for a service-based business and I thought why not since I assume there is no costly and space-consuming products involved. Most likely I don't have the resources to start any form of business right now anyway but I just want to keep myself in the loop with what's going on.

Once again whatever I plan for is thwarted by my... work. Sigh.

That's the thing about my job. If my mom wasn't my mom she'd dump me. People question why I'm doing so much for so little but do I have a choice? No. For my calibre on paper, this is the highest-paying job ever offered to me so I took it.

People say they understand but do they really? I don't expect them to in the first place. But what gets me is when people think I'm beating around the bush, or that I'm lying about all these or that I'm keeping them hanging around.

My colleagues aren't having it easy themselves. Especially the married ones. Their spouses understandably are not too happy with the effort they put in for the amount of remuneration they bring home monthly.

That's why I should remind myself to stay away from committing to any permanent outside work activities for as long as I have this job. It's just not gonna work out.

New "tenant"?

I'm only putting this down in words for the heck of it.

So Sharifah, the cleaning auntie came back to the foodcourt for a meal two days after she was sent to NUH. She was alright.

I was surprised. After the drama she caused after she slipped I'd have thought she'd be in NUH for observation for longer at least. Not that I wish it upon her nor anyone else though.

But she was alright. All that breathlessness, eyes rolling back, calling out to her late father, no sign of them at all.

Apparently, her son who was there that night after she returned, told me that before she fell, she heard someone call her name. And when she turned to look, that's when she slipped and all the things fell on her.

Impossible! Although I had no view of her then, I was the nearest person to her and I certainly wasn't the one who called her. And if anyone was to call her, I'd have heard too but I didn't.

Let me now share a few revelations.

A few nights ago, after I closed the foodcourt at night after my shift, I text Eric, "Bro, I haven't told you this but these days my hair all stand when I'm alone at closing, money in the safe always don't tally too no matter how many times I count. I think we got new tenant. Heh."

I was half-joking. I thought it was nothing.

But the next day he sat me down and then he told me that he's known it all along that there are "things" in the foodcourt and he thought they only showed up recently because they're being chased out of the once-vacant unit next door to ours which will become a family karaoke joint and is now under renovation.

I thought I was bonkers. Now even Eric is bonkers.

Ong, the new Ban Mian stall boss approached me some time later to also reveal his own findings. He had no idea about what Eric and I talked about.

He told me that since the first day he moved in, he's also felt something dirty in the foodcourt, especially the alley outside our dishwashing area. Even his sister felt the same.

>>FF>>

Last night, after collecting the stalls' daily sales and counting the money in my office, Ong knocked on my door. He looked quite urgent. He signalled his intention to come in. No problem.

Then he sat himself down on the chair beside mine, in full view of the CCTV camera and declared that he's gonna chase the thing out. I said what for? But he was having none of that. He said NOW.

So I let him. Don't wanna argue with him on this one.

Suddenly he got into a trance, muttering in an odd language that sounded like "Weeesh weeesh weeesh", shook and vibrated.

Then there was a small gust of wind in the enclosed and windowless office. The money on my desk moved a bit. I felt a chill. I was like @@ for two seconds but then continued doing what I was doing.

In two minutes, Ong was done. He declared the place clean. I could say nothing but thank you. He left.

For the past couple of nights I've asked my supervisor to stay behind with me but last night she had to go take a crap but thankfully her daughter waited up for me. Young kid is better than no kid. At least she's human.

I didn't tell her much. I just told her to stick with me while I was closing the place. I kept one, ok both eyes on her as we walked.

I did my usual routine of switching off the lights, aircon, gas and walked past the alley outside the dishwashing area as well as the alley behind the stalls as we approached my office to turn on the alarm. All the time muttering the small repertoire of Islamic prayers I know for safety of the kid and I.

I made it as quick as possible. I just wanted to SCRAM, understandably.

Then as I offered out an "Assalamualaikum" (Peace be upon you) as I was shutting the back door when we were stepping out, something replied back which sounded like the door creaking or someone groaning. EGAD!

I mean, I've shut that door since the place opened and I've not heard it creak or groan before so why last night?

I tried to be calm. Afterall it's not cool acting all wimpy in front of a kid who was nonchalant about the whole thing.

When we about 15metres from the foodcourt, I looked behind to have a quick glance like I always do just to make a quick check that I've done all I was supposed to do. I heard a "Bye bye".

More @@. My eyes nearly popped out.

I asked the kid if she felt or heard anything. She said she heard someone chopping something in one of the stalls when we were walking at the stalls' back alley earlier.

I was like "Hello!" there were only us two!

Now everyone in the foodcourt is bonkers, not just me.

I was scared. Especially thinking about the fact that I was gonna be all alone at home later on. I've not felt scared of these things before this. I've always been able to do my own things at home and pretty much sleep no matter what.

That "Bye bye" I heard, only I heard and it wasn't a peaceful goodbye from the tone of it. It was more like a defiant one as though to say, "I'm still here. See ya!"

So whatever.

I called and text all my sisters and they all tried to encourage me and give me strength and confidence. After all, I don't buy these things. In the end I just told them that it didn't matter. I was going home even if I was gonna be alone and if should there be anything, Allah will protect me. I found myself silly worrying about these things now that I'm closer to God than ever before.

Last night, I was scared when I was at home but I kept saying to myself, "Allahu Akhbar" and it gave me strength, mentally and it gave me more heart.

And then this morning I saw 17 missed calls on my phone, the last one being at 0117hrs. It was Eric.

I called him and asked what the matter was.

He said the foodcourt alarm went off last night after I left and he tried to find out from me if I had left any of the doors unlocked. He was at the Causeway in a traffic jam while entering Singapore then.

Since I didn't answer (I was sleeping and my phone's permanently on silent mode), he called the police and later on made a trip down to the foodcourt himself but found nothing.

NO*FREAKING*THING.

Not a stray cat nor a rat. Nothing shifted or fell off the wall to trigger the motion sensors. All doors were locked shut.

Strange but true.

I still hope it's just our imagination. Then again, I have been told that in Islam, Djinns exist. It could be them but I'm hoping not coz I can't be bothered. I just wanna work and earn an honest living.

The TEN Calamity Commandments

Now that I'm slowly gaining momentum getting back in the dating scene, it just occured to me to ask myself what do I really look for in a woman.

So after more than a week of thinking, in all honesty, here they are in order of sequence:

1) How will our kids look like?
2) Will she be a good partner in religion?
3) Will she be a good mom to the kids?
4) Will she be able to assist me in work matters?
5) Will she be a good Calamity Woman to the Calamity Man?
6-10) Will the five women in my family like her?

1) She doesn't have to be gorgeous or sexy or whatever. Really. What I look for is the X factor. I mean, all my sisters who are married are fat (they're so gonna kill me for saying this) but their kids are so good-lookin'. It's just my first natural reaction when I see a female of the species. I make a quick scan and even have a point system. Heh.

2) Sincerely, I feel inept religion-wise. I know next to nuts about Islam but I'm learning at every little opportunity. It's a race against time. I'm 27 this year and only at the beginning of my Islamic journey. It'd be great if The Calamity Woman has reached a certain level of maturity in this department so perhaps I could reach out to her for guidance every now and then. I'm not too shy to seek knowledge wherever knowledge is coming from.

3) I mean, a wife who'd share my value of taking care of the kids' needs first before self would be wow. Where one is weak, the other is strong. Together we raise a great family. In my book, work is important but not as important as coming back home at 1900hrs tops everyday and having a hot meal with everyone before we all have some family time together. Then we put the kids to bed and make some more. Kids I mean. LOL!

4) She cannot be s-l-o-w. I will die if she can't keep up intellectually. Anyway it's very likely that I'd run my own business and who else to be Director of Finance but the wifey. Some men I know are totally against this but then again, other men and I don't share the same mindset and values. Besides, I HATE accounting so I'm gonna let her handle that. Hah!

5) I'm not really sure what I mean with this point coz it could mean anything but I guess it's got to do more to intangible stuff like loyalty, chivalry, honesty and all that jazz.

6-10) Lemme see... There's my mom, Sis Lilie, Leita, Lilies and Liana. Five of them. If one of them doesn't like her for anything, she's gone. I remember this girl I saw for a couple of weeks pre-Perth who is actually Liana's pal. I thought Liana had no issue with her but apparently she did and immediately my mind began to search for the exit door. Of course I did it slowly, in my own way. I work in mysterious ways.


Dang, these commandments are a tall order for any woman. I get the feeling that any woman has got a better chance if they worked backwards. Maybe they should. So if in the next five years, I still don't find anyone, no worries, I'll just unleash the Big Bad Five to suss one up for me. Easy squeezy, lemon peasy.

And if that doesn't work out, like a broken record, there's always the Mail Order Bride option. Just insert $7000.

I'm lovin' it!

I was told about this before but somehow it slipped my mind just now.

So anyway, for those not in the know, you are not to pray anything other than Asar between Asar and Maghrib because that's when the sun starts to set lest you enjoy embarassing yourself in a public place such as a mosque by being the only one praying your make-up Subuh prayer at the back while everyone else is looking at you - puzzled. Heh.

This friendly reminder is brought to you by The Calamity Man, your blundering born-again Muslim superhero. :)

THE power

My last post wasn't the biggest news today. While at work I was thinking of what to write with regards to it and I certainly didn't mean it to be that short but something else happened at 2125hrs that took precedence over it.

Remember that cleaning auntie I said I was gonna sack a while ago? We decided not to after she melted our hearts with her sob story.

At 2125hrs, while I was just starting to collect the daily sales, suddenly I heard bowls and plates crashing in the dishwashing area. Now, these things are common in any foodcourt and I didn't expect it to be different this time but then I heard someone faintly calling out, "Uncle, uncle..."

I was like, "What the heck?" and skipped there as quick as I could. It was less than ten metres away from where I was.

I was SHOCKED when I saw the Malay cleaning auntie, Sharifah on the floor, on her butt with all the cockeries on her and all over the place.

SHOCK SHOCK HORROR HORROR SHOCK SHOCK HORROR

Why do these things always happen when I'm on duty? *rolleyes*

I tried to get her to sit up but she was too heavy but within moments some other people came up and helped me to take her scarf, apron and watch off and applied some ointment on her neck, head, chest and limbs to keep her conscious.

Someone else took her phone which cracked during the accident and called her daughter while I instructed my supervisor to call 995. I left Sharifah to her cleaning supervisor while I tried calling Eric. The others were still trying to keep her conscious.

She was writhing in pain and had difficulty breathing. When I got back after minute, she suddenly lost consciousness and yet managed to call out to her late father a few times like as though she saw him.

I was like, "YIKES!" Not at my foodcourt! No one dies at my foodcourt and certainly not while I'm on duty! No way!

Honestly I didn't know what to do this time. I checked her pulse. No pulse. But I saw her trying to breathe so I guess she's still with us just that she's too fleshy or something for me to feel anything.

Then this guy, a regular customer at the foodcourt and someone I often see at the mosque appeared, muttered some Islamic verses and felt the surrounding with his palm. He said "something" pushed her. It's not the slippery floor.

I didn't really buy that.

But what I really bought was that he muttered somemore verses over some water in a bowl, did something to Sharifah with it which I didn't see as my attention was somewhere else for that few seconds and suddenly she came to, sat up, got up and managed to walk herself with a little help from us to the dining area where it's less hot, less wet and more open.

I was struck dumb. Speechless. Definitely not a coincidence. I felt like telling the guy that I'm packing my stuff straight away and go to whichever mountain he came from and learn Islam under him.

I always go through Ally McBeal moments like that. Heh.

So anyway, the ambulance called to say that they were lost so I told them to stay where they are while I fetched them.

They came, they asked, they took her away to NUH (National University Hospital).

So what was that huh? I reckon Allah was telling me something again. I've been pondering about taking classes to further my religious knowledge and He's telling me to ponder no more. Now is a good time. Need more convincing?

Proud moment

I was surprised at the reception I got when everyone saw me back at the foodcourt today.

High fives and whoop yeahs were going around and the best thing was someone commented, "It's good to have you back. We don't want any other manager around."

Some things are worth more than $$$. I totally didn't expect that.

Way to go!

I nearly got transferred out of 399 to 768 today.

I got a call from Benson who said the top brass had a meeting in the morning and it's been decided that I should move to 768 indefinitely - TOMORROW.

NO FREAKIN' WAY!

Reason given was that there's been a reshuffle of manpower and that's that.

They think I'm dumb or what? They think I'm not aware about what's going in the other FNS outlets. I've got many little friends in low places ok. Some days ago I met one of the 768 cleaners at Toa Payoh MRT station and she told me that the Halal manager had quit.

So the actual reason for my supposed transfer is so that I could clear up the mess this guy left just like what happened the first time I got transferred there before I came to 399.

All these would be settled if only they accepted the fact that a Halal food establishment is not only about a "No pork, no lard" policy, there's more to it than that and that a Muslim guy with a high post, standing and salary isn't so bad for the company to move forward anyway if they're serious about getting into the Halal food business.

I dare say I'm the best Halal manager there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Just bloody pay me the money and all will be alright. They have got someone with pedigree and they think this guy is happy being kicked about like some soccer ball all the time for a few peanuts.

Hello, this is not the 19th century Malayan tin-mining industry anymore!

I know what I'm worth and I'm worth more than this. I'm only staying because it just makes practical sense to do so.

Now Eric on the other hand is the only guy in this darned organisation who cares about me. Not many people outside my family knows how to deal with me but he does. It takes a mixture of letting me loose every now and then, no beating around the bush as well as rewarding me with biscuits whenever I've done a good job. I know where and who to go back to. I'm loyal like a good sherperd's dog.

Eric and I spent the next few hours making frantic phonecalls, meeting this and that persons, complaining, ranting, threatening and at 2245hrs (1045pm) as I was locking up the foodcourt, Eric called to say that he managed to speak to the MD himself and now I do not have to go anywhere. I. Stay. Put. Period.

I thanked him, I thanked God and I thanked the universe things turned back around.

I love Eric. Too bad he's married. Heh. He's the only one who fights for and with me in this darned (have I already said that?) company. There are so many things I like about 399 despite my whingeings and I'm not about to let it go for something lesser.

I mean it.

Help me mind my own business

Right, I've been pondering this one for a while. Each one of them has their own pros and cons and I need your help yet again to help me decide which route to take.

It's about which sort of business to go into and here's the breakdown:

Sportswear:
I love sports but betting and watching seems to be as far as most people here in Singapore go. My plan is to target the small community of amateur soccer clubs here in the specialized ESZPEN or COSMOLEAGUE in providing them customized team kits.

I imagine there are big boys out there like me who likes to pretend they are actual soccer players in actual soccer teams who'd like to have their own signature kits for a fair amount of money.

Pros: The Soccer World Cup is coming this June in Germany and from experience, the euphoria usually lasts a year before it dies down. During this time, more people get introduced to the game and want to try out just like I did back in 1990 after watching the World Cup on TV. It's a good time to get into the market and create a footing.

Cons: Only one year to create an impact. Besides, which garment manufacturer would agree to a small order of at least 15 team kits at a go? And they'd have to manufacture new designs every 15 kits or so in order to achieve my goal of no same design for every team.

Health/medical care supplies:
It's obvious that the world is getting grayer and if one thing is certain, everyone dies. Next to coming up with a casket/funeral services comes the supplying of products to cope with old age like crutches, wheelchairs, adult diapers and so on.

Pros: I assume it's easy to get used (or even new) equipments such as wheelchairs and crutches as people may have those lying around in their homes after someone who's been using it is no longer around. I only need to refurbish and clean them a bit. Plus, with the worldwide pandemic such as bird flu and SARS always at our door, supplies like face masks could sell like hot tarts. I won't deal with health foods and medicine though.

Cons: Storhub needs about $300 a month for a substantial enough warehouse space. Plus, I don't drive so I do not have the means to transport the things to and fro the storage area if the order is too big to transport by MRT or bus.

Gadgets
I have a strong interest in this. I was thinking of selling only VOIP products such as SKYPE phones, mics, headphones as well as complementary products that have to do with portable gadgets such as bluetooth earpieces, headphones, etc. This was also something Marc and I discussed when we met.

Pros: I can get the products easily peasily lemony squeezily for cheapily and they are easy to store. Just dump them at home.

Cons: Every Tom with a Harry Dick is doing it. 'Nuff said.



At the end of the day, this business must also be applicable to the country that I intend to emigrate to. So far, I only have my heart on and in Perth, WA.

So how now ugly cow?

Help me select my web template

Ok folks, I'm still trying to get my Gung Ho Ventures website up.

I've narrowed down the choice of templates to three and I think they all fit my criteria and making it difficult for me to choose between them.

1) It's got to be dummy-friendly to install (referring to myself)

2) It's got to have a clean interface. No fancy wancy stuff like Flash please.

3) It's got to be straightforward. For a start, I only want three links in my sidebar.

My intention is to just use it as an advertisement mode for Gung Ho. For instance, I'd put an ad in print that goes, "Blah blah blah. Go to gunghoventures.com for more details!" or "Delivery man needed. Please go to gunghoventures.com/jobs for more details!" to save on cost.

So, which?

Template 1

Template 2

Template 2

Off I go!

It's not common for me to have two back to back days off in my line of work but I just have. I've not been at work since yesterday. Woo!

I've no problem making male friends, it's the women I have trouble with. So I've been using these two days to not only recharge but to also go out, meet people and make new friends from the resource that I utilise most - the Internet.

Thus far, who's to say where this will all lead to. I'm just taking things as they come and slowly getting back into the dating scene at my own time. I do know that I'm not done yet and if all things fail, there is still Calamity Woman Maybe (formerly known as Mrs Loobz Maybe). I think.

Heh.

Date end

So I guess everyone wants to know what happened on my dinner date with the girl I met on Muslimfriends but it was nothing to shout about, really.

I'm just taking the opportunity to get outta my shell and meet people, that's all. I just need to lighten up on some things to maintain my sanity.

Relief

After my distress signal the other day, I'm please to announce that I now have:

2 x large bottles of shower cream
2 x large packets of shower cream
A few packets of shampoo and conditioner
1 x bottle of shampoo
2 x tubes of conditioner
1 x tube facial wash
5 x large tubes of toothpaste
1 x toothbrush

All spanking new.

I think they're trying to tell me something. ;)

Welfare

Eric and I have come up with a new roster system that would give both of us a lot of welfare. A LOT of welfare. This is in response to the fact that our company couldn't care less about us anyway.

We have decided to give ourselves 5 and a half days work week which would include one weekend day off for both of us each week.

Superb!

Should have thought of this sooner but better late than never.

How it works is that we still do alternate opening and closing shifts between us between Tue and Thu. And we would rotate working four hours only between 0700am and 1100am on Fri and Mon and when one of us takes a Sat off, the other will do the full shift and take Sun off the next day while the other guy does the full shift.

Too confusing?

Using this week as an example, I'll do 0700am-1100am tomorrow and Eric will take over me till closing after I leave. I take Sat off, while Eric does the full shift. But the next day Eric is off while I in turn do the full shift. On Mon, Eric will do the 0700am-1100am shift and I'll take over till closing. The rest of the week, we go back to our normal shifts of either closing or morning which is pretty straightforward.

What this means is that we both are guaranteed a weekend day off every week! Woo!

Weirdoed

Talking about Muslimfriends, I've been getting quite a few, Ok, a lot of enquiries since I signed up.

I don't mind entertaining the girls. In fact, I'm in touch with a couple of them right now but there's this weird guy..... *baffled*

Mending bridges

I had intended to sleep early last night as I was still feeling sluggish and lethargic but I didn't manage to. I'm feeling anxious about my life.

So I rescheduled that for today.

But it was not meant to be. Sis Leita called to say my family was meeting one of my mom's sister's family at her daughter's place in Yishun for dinner and I had to go.

Ugh.

I dragged my feet but in the end I was happy to be there. Free food is always a welcome thing for me. And I deliberately took the scenic route from work which took almost two hours so I could sleep in the bus and listen to my radiophone.

Dinner was BBQ. Location was downstairs where there were many BBQ pits but the BBQ wasn't on a pit or on a grill. It was on a steamboat hot pot.

Still I managed to stuff my face.

It was nice to meet everyone from their side of the family again. It's been a while. Glad that The Perthlings' visit eased up some if not all of the old and outdated tensions that subtly existed before.

My auntie and uncle thought I was my brother Dickhead. They still had this idea I was a fat nerd. Well I'm still a nerd but the fat part was sooo 1980s. It died together with disco.

We managed to squeeze in some karaoke. Ok I, managed to squeeze in some karaoke. Me, myself and I. I hogged the mic for quite a bit and wouldn't let go.

It was nice to be one of the kids again and play. I showed the kids how to climb a lamp post, gave them piggy back rides and wrestled with them and let them use me as a punching bag. Cool.

On the way back home, I called this girl whom I've been in touch with via Internet and phone to meet up for dinner this Friday after her work. I'm off then. We met on Muslimfriends. No fancy dinner or anything. I did tell her we're going some place cheap near her place as there is a straight bus back home for me when we're done.